2035 NE Glisan St., 235-5690. 11:30-2:30 am daily.
On entering this rustic mini-castle off the freeway in Kerns, your first instinct is to check the video-poker machines for Bilbo Baggins unwinding with a tall boy of Olympia after a long day of questing for rare vinyl or fuses for his Ampeg bass amp. The next order of business is a drink. If it's a weekend, there's probably a deafening blast of sludge creeping from the PA in the room adjacent to the bar, so you may want to point to what the girl next to you in the neon Carhartt beanie and denim-on-denim ensemble is drinking and move along. The tap list is paltry, but a known micro or two (Vaporizer, RPM) can be had if you can be heard over the cacophony. If you're early enough for happy hour, admire the finest collection of vintage signage of sub-premium beermakers you'll find in Portland while a stoner in the kitchen lethargically assembles your Build-A-Burger ($6) that's well worth the wait. You may as well toke up between the vans parked out back while you're at it—just make sure no one is asleep in any of them lest you're ready to share with a groggy dude who mistakenly showed up for a gig three days early. PETE COTTELL.
What plays: Rock and fuckin' roll.