In early 2011, a mysterious man, identifying himself only as "Randall," posted a video to YouTube. A dubbed-over National Geographic segment on honey badgers, The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger featured Randall's flamboyant, New York-accented narration: "Honey badger don't care, honey badger don't give a shit. It just takes what it wants."
The video quickly went viral. Today, it has more than 66 million views.
But Randall didn't just fade into oblivion. He has channeled his popularity, and his genuine love for wildlife, into other projects: more dubbed videos, including Honey Badger Narrates: The Great White Sea-Monster and Honey Badger Narrates: The Stiffy Goat; a book about such animals as the emperor tamarin and the pink fairy armadillo; and commercials for pistachios and phone systems.
In anticipation of Randall's visit to Portland—he'll be part of a showcase at Helium Comedy Club to benefit Wildcat Haven, an animal sanctuary in Sherwood—we asked him to give advice to fellow meme makers looking to extend their 15 minutes of Internet fame.
Randall says: "Don't be afraid to smile, honey. I know the pressure is on to stay 'grumpy,' but even the grumpiest of grumps have to chuckle every now and then!"
David After Dentist
Randall says: "We're all waiting for David's revenge! I suggest stacking things on Dad's face when he passes out and filming it!"
Charlie Bit My Finger
Randall says: "Never stop chomping on fingers! It's the best way to keep those closest to you in check!"
What Does the Fox Say?
Randall says: "I don't know if we'll ever figure out what the fox says. I'm still trying to understand the sloth!"
Randall says: "Turtles are indeed amazing! But, honey, you need some rest and a snack!"
Randall says: "Why stop at Friday? Ya gotta sing more songs about the other days of the week as well as months!"
Star Wars Kid
Randall says: "The Force is strong with this one! Someone get this Jedi a baton and knee-high boots!"
Overly Attached Girlfriend
Randall says: "You're gonna make some lucky dude very happy one day. Until then, you should totes be cast in Misery: The Musical!"
Randall says: "Dare I suggest you change your name to Ermah Gerd? I think it'd help launch your career, honey! I really do!"
Randall says: "The second you decide to be cool is the moment you lose the love and attention of many! Stay scummy, ya scumbag!"
Ridiculously Photogenic Guy
Randall says: "You need to get in the 'photos for photo frames' business. Cereally, think of how many peeps will buy frames and just leave your photo in there!"
Bad Luck Brian
Randall says: "Sometimes, crapping your pants can help build character. 'Good luck' is overrated, honey—don't go changin'…unless it's your pants!"
Chubby Bubbles Girl
Randall says: "You've lived through so much. Always on the run, always moving. I say, take time to walk—enjoy your surroundings."
Randall says: "Oh, Leo…are your feets tired? Cuz you've been running around on my computer all day, honey!"
Success Kid/I Hate Sandcastles
Randall says: "What advice can you give a kid who has it all figured out?!"
SEE IT: Randall is at Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7 pm Sunday, April 27. $18-$23. 21+.