Hitched

The bold truth about true love

Russ Eckman and David McCarthy

JUNE 21, 2003

For Russ Eckman and David McCarthy, "Leaving Las Vegas" is more than just a Sheryl Crow song or Nicolas Cage tear-jerker. For these two guys, leaving Las Vegas was an opportunity to
create a new life together far from Sin City.

Russ, then a 29-year-old small-town Iowa guy, had been making ends meet as a waiter in the sprawling desert city for less than a year before he met David. Four years older than Russ, David had been cashing in his chips as a Vegas accountant for 12 years.

Living very separate lives, the two were introduced on a hot day in June of '96 by their party-loving boyfriends.

Yes, their boyfriends.

"They knew if they got us together, we'd leave them alone," Russ says about their then-partners, who were too busy indulging in Vegas vices to bother with domestic affairs.

Russ and David's first meeting was prophetic--at least for one of them.

"I knew from the first day that he was the one," says Russ.

On the other hand, David's take on the couple's first days is more lust-filled.

"It started out as purely physical," he says.

While David admits the couple had a scandalous beginning, he reasons that their former partners' bad habits might have played a role in their summertime trysts.

"We certainly weren't getting any at home."

Though Russ' emotional attachment was immediate, David says his feelings intensified only after a nasty bout with bronchial pneumonia that had him bedridden for much of August.

"Russ took care of me for two weeks," David recalls. "Nobody had ever been that nice to me."

That fall, David's relationship with his live-in fizzled. That's when he asked Russ to move in with him--the very same day his ex moved out.

Soon, the couple found living together in Vegas was a piece of cake. Both like to cook, and neither is a slob (though Russ still won't clean the cat box).

But their housing situation was a different story. By the summer of '97, the two found themselves in the midst of a financial crisis. With an eviction notice in their hands, the couple had a difficult decision to make: Find money to make good on the rent, or take what money they had and split.

They chose the second option.

Leaving Vegas and heading straight for the Pacific Northwest, neither guy had ever stepped foot in Portland. They withdrew their savings (a whopping $500), rented a van and hit the road. By the time they arrived in Reno, though, they were already out of money. After calling a friend in Denver to wire them some emergency funds, they finally arrived in Stumptown with just 20 dollars between them--and the knowledge that they had made the right decision.

"At 3 am, we drove across the Marquam Bridge, and the view of the city was gorgeous," Russ says. "We fell in love right there."

In Portland, the couple has enjoyed an active social life, no doubt aided by a shared sense of humor reaped from hard times and lessons learned. They count as close friends their masseuse and hairdresser, as well as their co-workers and a very special "adopted Mom."

And their relationship remained solid. Russ first proposed to David just six months after they met ("It's been a very long engagement,' Russ jokes); the ceremony was held at Gresham's Persimmon Country Club the week of their seventh anniversary.

For David, the ceremony was more significant for the rest of the world than for him and Russ.

"We've considered ourselves married for a very long time," he says. "The ceremony wasn't to form a commitment, but to celebrate a commitment that's been there all along."

Through good times and bad, indeed.

WWeek 2015

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