To prove the real "Seether" is neither a South African grunge-metal band nor its terrible rendition of Veruca Salt's original.

If a bunch of grunting Creed-alikes stole the name of my hit single—and recorded a turgid cover version to boot—I'd feel compelled to correct the record, too. 

To beat Elastica, Eve's Plumb and Stabbing Westward to the reunion circuit.

No one wants to be the last mid-'90s relic to get back together, and with the Rentals relaunching, our reserve of alt-rock also-rans still in retirement is starting to run dangerously low.    

To help someone in the band pay off gambling debts.

Around 1998, Veruca Salt principals Nina Gordon and Louise Post had a falling out so acrimonious that Post, who filled out the band with scabs and kept it going for another 14 years, wrote half of 2000's scathing Resolver about it. Now Gordon and rest of the original lineup are touring again, and while the circumstances of the reconciliation are unclear, nothing buries the hatchet faster than a bookie threatening to break your thumbs. Just ask Pavement.

To get back at Dave Grohl somehow.

The other half of Resolver's vitriol targets the Nirvana drummer, Post's former boyfriend, who left her for Winona Ryder, as was the custom of famous 20-somethings at the time. Not sure how this particular revenge plot would play out, but if it knocks the goony grin off his face, I'm all for it. 

To confirm that Generation X will pay to see anything that vaguely reminds them of their youth.

The Portland show is sold out. Case closed.

SEE IT: Veruca Salt plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with the Echo Friendly, on Sunday, June 22. 9 pm. Sold out.