Oregon teenagers

Question No. 14, sentence completion: Even though they spend less time in the classroom than anyone else in the country, _______ still routinely open up a serious can of learnin' on their counterparts in other states. Answer: Oregon teenagers, tops in the nation in average ACT college-prep test scores and second in average SAT scores in 2003. Big ups, kids!

North Portlanders can breathe easy--the lentils are history. A Columbia Boulevard recycling biz rid itself of 3,500 tons of putrid rotting legumes, but not before Metro slapped American Compost and Recycling with a $28,000 fine for stinking up the area.

That man dancing the victory jig in front of City Hall on Tuesday was commissioner and mayoral hopeful Jim Francesconi, elated at the news that Congressman Earl Blumenauer will not challenge him for the mayor's post.

LOSERS

Porky residents of Clackamas and Yamhill counties were not shocked by a new study linking obesity to suburban living. Smart Growth America's survey claims auto-dependent Clackamaniacs and Yamhillers run a better-than-average chance of beefing up. Urbanized Multnomahans, on the other hand, rate well in the study.

Portland women's advocacy groups were stung by news that the Salvation Army Harbor Light center will mothball 30 emergency beds at its Old Town shelter. Lack of cash doomed the beds, which were provided after the notorious street killings of Jessica Williams and Christine Lawson.

The Recall Vera Katz Committee, one of two fringey campaigns to oust Herroner, failed to meet its petition deadline last week, thus fading into political oblivion. A rival recall effort will do likewise if it can't produce about 30,000 signatures this week. And the mayor will sleep soundly--at last.

Dan Handelman, Copwatch, Dave Mazza and other cop critics won't have Chief Mark Kroeker to kick around anymore. A born-again Christian and former LAPD guy, Kroeker sparked unprecedented venom among Portland's left. As of October, they'll need a new whipping boy to help drum up support for a talked-about police reform initiative.

The design whizkids at Nike are taking a pummelling for the Swoosh-minted new Oregon Ducks uniforms, an unholy collusion between mustard yellow and infection green. Given their unconvincing win against early-season punching bag Sac State, the Ducks may need more than one kind of makeover.