Fair Folk: 8 People You'll Meet at the Oregon Country Fair

By Lizzy Acker

Identify him by: His hair in a bun, a “This Is What a Feminist Looks Like” T-shirt and sandals he “bought from a local artisan in Guadalajara,” pronounced with rolled r’s.

Where to find him: Incorrectly mansplaining falafel ingredients to his much-younger girlfriend at Nearly Normal's food booth.

Identify her by: A muddy-colored hand-tie-dyed shirt with a “girl power” slogan. A wood cookie on a gimp necklace that says “Fern,” “Buttercup,” “Sierra” or “Aspen.”

Where to find her: Ogling the open-toed shoes and male-gendered people at the Blue Moon Stage.

Identify them by: Glowstick necklaces.

Where to find them: Asking everyone at Ambiance on the Path if they have a camping pass, gratuitously mentioning Robot Heart.

Identify her by: Her very large belly painted with a questionable depiction of planet Earth being held by a pair of uneven hands. Her breasts painted as flowers.

Where to find her: Hula-Hooping with two naked and muddy children covered in some unidentifiable pox at the Main Stage.


Identify them by: 
Bloodshot eyes, too-new shoes, Oregon Country Fair tie-dye shirt purchased at the entry booth, iPhone constantly buzzing with “Mom” on the screen, backpack with nothing in it. OK, so stop asking.

Where to find them: In a pack with other Super-High High-School Students, on the sidelines of a drum circle, making incomprehensible jokes and then laughing inappropriately when they see a naked old man.

Identify them by: Handmade full-leather outfit, head to toe.

Where to find them: Struggling to make a matchless fire to start a hand animal skin tanning demonstration in front of their authentic tepee.

Identify him by: His neutral-colored U of O polo shirt, neutral-colored khaki shorts, neutral-colored Arizona Birkenstocks.

Where to find him: Following a pack of Super-High High-School Students at a distance of about two booths, darting into a ceramics display anytime one of them turns around.

Identify them by: Their not-ironic NRA baseball caps. Their perfectly normal haircuts. Their aggravated looks.

Where to find them: Selling water, strawberries and
weed brownies at the side of Route 126.

GO: The 46th annual Oregon Country Fair is July 10-12 at 24550 Chickadee Lane, Elmira, 541-343-4298, oregoncountryfair.org. 11 am-7 pm. $23-$59.

WWeek 2015

Lizzy Acker

Lizzy Acker

Lizzy Acker is Willamette Week's former web editor. Her first book, Monster Party, came out in 2010. She was born in Oregon, lived in San Francisco for almost eight years and then moved back to Oregon, just like everyone always knew she would.

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