Crass Bush Servants

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"Childs Pay"

Sunday afternoon, the Nose and the rest of the Super Bowl-watching globe learned what Viacom, the company that owns CBS, MTV, 39 TV stations, Blockbuster, 185 radio stations, Paramount Pictures and a few other holdings, found appropriate for a family audience (aside from Janet Jackson's unsanctioned flash of flesh):

* A mutt sinking his teeth into a guy's crotch so he gives up his Bud Light.

* The football referee who is able to take abuse from coaches on the field because they're nothing compared to his bitching wife at home.

* A geriatric codger yanking an old woman to the ground with his cane in order to nab her potato chips.

* Several kids with soap in their mouths after having seen the line of new Chevy's and been unable to restrain themselves from saying "Holy Shit."

* A standing steed that breaks wind on a girl as she holds a candle, torching her face.

And the commercial that Viacom's CBS decided was inappropriate for viewing?

A 30-second spot called "Child's Pay." It had no voiceover, just a montage of various kids doing a number of menial jobs: collecting garbage, washing dishes, vacuuming motel floors, checking groceries. At the end, the screen shows the following words: "Guess who's going to pay off President Bush's $1 trillion deficit?"

The Nose wants to believe CBS when it says that politics had nothing to do with its decision, that it just wanted to keep the Super Bowl free of controversy. In other words, like it or not, the Super Bowl is a celebration not just of athletic achievement, but of commerce--and that the paid 30-second spots should be reserved for shilling beer, cars, potato chips and, in the case of Wieden & Kennedy's remarkably stale AOL ads, faster Internet connectivity.

The organization that tried to give CBS $2.3 million to run "Child's Pay" believes there's a more venal motive behind the decision to nix the 30-second spot. MoveOn.org, founded by a couple of Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, suggests that CBS was unwilling to air any commercial that might offend a president whose policies have been very kind to large media companies that want to get larger.

What's so offensive about pointing out the financial

burden of today's federal deficit and that our kids will be paying for it?

And if CBS wanted to reserve its Super Bowl time for pure commercial speech, why did it allow the American Legacy Foundation to buy time to air a delightfully clever parody of tobacco companies? (The spot featured a spokesman for Shards O' Glass Freeze Pops telling viewers, "Shards O' Glass Freeze Pops are for adults only.")

The Nose has to agree with Oregon Sen. Ron Wyden (one of the few members of Congress to even care about this matter), who challenged CBS's president in a letter sent last week: "How would you argue that excluding selected messages from perhaps the most watched broadcast program of the year...is consistent with your broadcast stations' public interest obligations as users of the public airwaves?"

If Karl Rove could find a way to unload the deficit onto Budweiser, the brewer would market its way out of this problem in no time--with CBS's help. Maybe they could even work in some appropriate horse farts.

To see the ad CBS wouldn't run, go to www.moveon.org/cbs/ad/

02.03.2004 at 10:00 Reply

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Continual Blame ShiftingMr. Nose,I somehow kept myself from laughing or screaming obscenities after reading your (drunk?) tirade which very title defines the acronym for CBS as, "Crass Bush Servants".Um...*sigh*...OK...CBS, in it's decision to bar the MoveOn.org ad, couldn't give one HALF of a "horse fart" about "offend(ing) a President whose policies have been very kind to large media companies".I am forced to assume you didn't read the official "CBS Statement on Advocacy Advertising", so I'll give you some tidbits from it and even a link to pass on to your readers!(excerpt)"The policy is decades old. It is designed to prevent those with means to produce and purchase network advertising from having undue influence on "controversial issues of public importance." (end)Hmmmmm...a "decades old policy"...they must have gotten a real inside scoop on W. making it to the White House twenty years prior. But of course (insert french accent)! They're in cahoots!As for the anti-cigarette spot...funny you should mention that! CBS goes on to say:(excerpt)"CBS is unaware of responsible groups that advocate drug abuse and smoking by minors, so it is hard to understand how these laudable efforts would constitute "controversial issues."(end)Now...1) Do you CLAIM to have read the entirety of CBS's policy before writing your story, so as to give a "Fair and Balanced" commentary?2) How many valium must you ingest to finally nod off each evening?OK, here's a (for right now) current link to the complete CBS policy: http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/040128/nyw155_1.htmlLook...a company doesn't get to the size of CBS without being morally perfect and pure as the driven snow. Why can't you see that they really just care about you and me? If you continue in your attempts to indoctrinate your less well-read followers, I'll have no choice but to again call you on it. Now... good DAY to you sir!!!—Patrick S.

02.10.2004 at 10:00 Reply

Crass Bush ServantsSince when has it become a business practice to show children speaking profanity to sell cars? Now I know you really didn't hear what the kids said in Chevy's Super Bowl Soap ad--but you could see what they were mouthing. These are kids! So much fuss and attention to an adult woman's breast, is anyone concerned about the portrayal of kids in this ad?—Nancy Christiansen

Patrick S.- another insulting right-winger who doesn't care about the factsCBS has agreed to do a blatant, political, one sided advocacy ad supporting Bush's Medicare plan. Even if this could somehow be argued to fit this policy that the moveon ad didn't, the truth is that they are hypocrites who are perfectly willing to air ads that are as one-sided and controversial as the MoveOn ad. The corporate owned media does have a conservative bias, and it is becoming harder and harder even attempt to prove otherwise. —Duncan D.

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Crass Bush Servants