Pause.
Pssst: Now that the gays have left, it's time for us to have a political talk, gay man to straight voters.
Now, it seems to me that in Portland, we homos and you heteros have done a pretty good job of staying out of each other's hair. Don't you agree?
Sure, behind our backs you still call us fags. Likewise, we call you dumb breeders. But generally we laugh off each other's weird hobbies (cross-dressing, NASCAR) and maintain a safe, respectful distance.
Constitutional Amendment 36 changes all that.
For those who haven't been paying attention, this measure says: ONLY MARRIAGE BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN IS VALID OR LEGALLY RECOGNIZED.
Now, wait a minute. Do you really feel threatened enough to need to insert specifics of gender into our state's constitution?
Just because we homos believe in the "radical" idea that we should have the same right to be happily married as you heteros, that doesn't mean you need to get all freaked out and start changing laws. Now, how would you feel if queers signed a petition stating ONLY MARRIAGE BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE MAN IS VALID OR LEGALLY RECOGNIZED AS MARRIAGE?
That kind of reversal makes the whole idea sound pretty unnecessary, doesn't it? As in any political play, proponents of the issue want to make it easy for you to vote against my people. They've even gone so far as to recruit a queer couple from Eugene to serve as "average homos" in a television ad promoting the Defense of Marriage campaign.
In the TV spot, Lance Kropf says he and his partner, Mike Serface, "recognize the reasons for keeping marriage between one man and one woman," but the ad doesn't go on to present any specific reasons why. On top of that, Kropf and Serface are hardly average. Kropf is the brother of conservative state Rep. Jeff Kropf of Sublimity. Funny how the ad doesn't acknowledge that kind of family and political connection.
But I'm here to help you vote in good conscience. Before you sit down to fill out your ballot/ pay bills/watch Survivor, let me tell you a little about my people.
My people pay the same taxes, go to the same parent-teacher meetings and shop at the same Costco stores you do.
We don't push our religious beliefs, or our sexuality, on others. We want equal rights, and we believe other people should have equal rights, too. We identify with the fictional characters on Will & Grace about as much as you do. We support a woman's right to choose. We don't all dress well. We worry too much about our weight. We spend time with our families, especially around the holidays. We try hard to do the right thing. Some of us, just like you, are just looking to find the right person or, once we've found him, to settle down with that person and get on with our lives.
In general, my people sound an awful lot like you.
So I'm going to go out on a limb here. No, I'm not asking you to support homosexuality. I know that'd be asking a lot, maybe too much, from you. I am asking you to support the idea of marriage. And family.
I'm asking you to support the idea of this place we live in, a place like Oregon where we've always seen things differently, a place where everybody who lives here should have the legal right to take care of the ones we love.
A no vote on 36 means you'll protect the equality guaranteed in the state constitution. A no vote on 36 means you believe in marriage. A no vote on 36 means you believe in family.
Really, if you believe in love, how could you vote any other way?
According to The Atlantic Monthly, the Congressional Budget Office has estimated that nationwide gay marriage would reduce the federal deficit by $350 million to $450 million in each of the next five years, thanks to our tax system's "marriage penalty."
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