Happy Holidays from the OLCC:

In the days before Thanksgiving, 31 metro-area restaurants and bars found themselves the target of an undercover sting, busted serving booze to a minor sent by the

Oregon Liquor Control Commission


It got interesting five days later, when at least one of the businesses cited,

Wine Down on 28th

, received a letter in the mail from a Sherwood-based electronic ID scanner company,

Identifier Northwest

, which sells machines that spot fakes. OLCC lets companies who buy such machines (Identifier's cost between $499 and $1,800) out of their $900 fine. The company often solicits businesses fingered as violators by OLCC's website, says Identifier's

Tammy Alto

. Then, this week,

some guy

, presumably one of IDNW's competitors, knocked on Wine Down's door offering to sell the restaurant a $700 scanner at half-price.

It's too late for this year, but next holiday season try CarnalCookies.com if you're looking for a creative gift--and you're 18 or over. Yet another in a long line of artistic local entrepreneurs, Southeast Portlander Tony Jordan came up with the idea of sexually explicit gingerbread cookies such as "Cookie-lingus" years ago, and this fall Jordan's creations even made The Graham Norton Effect on Comedy Central. On the show, they were eaten with great gusto by Chris Rock and Marilyn Manson. Unfortunately, Jordan is done baking for the holidays, but custom orders can be taken in the new year.

David Yandell is looking for a few (OK, a few hundred) good turkeys. Once again Yandell and his fellow cabbies hope to deliver a free bird (side dishes, too!) to any Portlander who can't afford a Christmas dinner. He also hands 'em out to anyone who shows up at Radio Cab with an unemployment stub. He says a bump in turkey prices has him nervous, so give him a call (380-8027) if you want to join in the giving.

A onetime KGW reporter and Portland Police Bureau spokesman, C.W. Jensen was one of the city's most recognizable faces. Then Mayor Vera Katz fired him in March for allegedly engaging in a "pattern of deceptive behavior." Jensen challenged it with a grievance and threatened a lawsuit, and now a proposed settlement that goes before the City Council on Wednesday reinstates him (with back pay) as a captain for retirement purposes--after which he goes away quietly. That much has been reported; the rest of the story is that had Jensen gone to court, decades of secret PPB dirty laundry would probably have come out in public.

A proposal to expand a cell-phone array on top of a Pentecostal church has residents of the Northeast Alberta Street area riled. Nextel wants to add at least one 8-foot cell antenna to an array Sprint already operates atop Victory Outreach Church at Northeast 30th Avenue and Alberta Street. Last week, some 70 neighbors signed a petition against the project, which they claim will pack a much bigger aesthetic wallop than the cell gear that's there now. Nextel, which would pay the church an unspecified lease fee, blamoes a city policy that concentrates new cell antennae in locations where old ones already are. Opposition to the plan pushed a city ruling on Nextel's plans back at least to late February.