Portland money-man Jeff Grayson's stock, already trading at historic lows, plunged through the floorboards when a federal grand jury indicted the pension-fund manager on 22 counts of mail fraud, conspiracy, money-laundering, witness-tampering and other crimes. Unions and other clients of JGRAY's firm, Capital Consultants, watched the financial wizard make $355 million vanish into thin air. Brush off the splinters and page the bargain-hunters--hey, he's innocent until proven guilty!

Jittery pigskin investors rang up fat profits Saturday as University of Oregon easily averted a Wildcats strike in Tucson, posting their fifth straight win of the season. The 63-28 victory was even sweeter for CEO Mike Bellotti and other QWAK backers, as business competitor Oregon Beavers Inc. continued to falter.

Effervescent ad gurus Wieden+Kennedy watched their share prices fizzle after beverage behemoth Coca-Cola "released" (i.e. booted) the Portland agency from its lucrative Diet Coke and PowerAde accounts. Short-sellers may be disappointed, however--WZKIDZ's client roster still includes Nike, Amazon.com, Miller High Life and Henry Weinhard's.

It was a summer of gridlock, but long-suffering SMOG investors are finally breathing easier. The Ross Island Bridge is open on all four lanes. The Morrison Bridge has shed its load of orange cones. Now--drum roll, please--West Burnside Street is slated to re-open well ahead of schedule, after two months of sewer construction slowed traffic to a crawl.

Reversing a long and seemingly inexorable slide into irrelevance, Mayor Vera Katz stunned analysts with an impressive turn-around, leading a high-profile Oregon delegation to New York City to boost the Big Apple's tourism industry. VERA drew so much national face time--including Good Morning America and LIVE with Regis and Kelly--that she could probably run for mayor of New York, or at least Jersey City.