In a city where stripping for a living is considered less offensive than working for Starbucks, the Mardi Gras tradition of trading a glimpse of one's naughty bits for beads seems downright quaint. To help you maximize your Fat Tuesday sin quotient and plan a personal party parade route, WW has whipped up a Mardi Gras guide organized by a few of our favorite deadly sins.

An extra pat of butter on yer piping-hot weekend.

Acadia: Tie on your lobster bib for a five-course prix fixe dinner at Portland's best N'awlins bistro. Gorge on crawfish, catfish and lobster étouffée, but save room for traditional King cake.

Acadia, 1303 NE Fremont St., 249-5001. 5 pm. $50. All ages.

Philippe's Fat Tuesday: The Heathman's chef, Philippe Boulot, gets saucy with Southern eats like oyster stew and boudin blanc with a side serving of palm readers, live jams from Sneakin' Out and free shots of Absolut vodka.

Heathman Restaurant and Lounge, 1001 SW Broadway, 790-7752. 7 pm. Regular menu prices. Dining room all ages; lounge 21+

It's the one day you can get someone naked for plastic without maxing out your credit card. Celebrate.

CC Slaughters: It's bead-snatching as blood sport at this hot homo spot. Grab the most strands and win $500, free Slaughters admission for a year and a spot on the club's Pride Parade float.

CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis St., 248-9135. 8 pm. FREE 21+.

The Lotus: Finally, Coolio (yes, that Coolio), Geoff Byrd and Extremo the Clown will all perform under the same gigantic tent. Yesss!

The Lotus, 932 SW 3rd Ave, 227-6185. 4 pm. $20 advance, $25 door. 21+.

Voodoo Lounge & Ohm: Party for tsunami relief, go directly to heaven. Proceeds from this steamy double-club bash benefit Northwest Medical Teams. Bonus: Cajun buffet, live rhythm madness from Soul Vaccination and plenty of Old Town ho's.

Voodoo Lounge & Ohm, 53 NW 1st Ave. 241-3840. 4 pm. $5 before 8 pm, $10 after 8 pm. 21+.

Planning to lounge around nude in your apartment covered in beads and eating greasy fried chicken? Cool. Just don't tell us about it.

Beads: Grab a handful of plastic ammunition at Portland's party supply central, The Lippman Company (50 SE Yamhill St., 239-7007).

Masks: Illusionary Designs (www.illusionarydesigns.com) specializes in feathery ball masks. Local artist Monica Roxburgh's spooky Goblin Art (www.goblinart.com) masks were featured on the cover of Iron Maiden's Dance of Death album. Rawk!

Grub: Why settle for KFC's colonel when you can get with Popeye's Famous Fried Chicken (3120 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 281-8455; 5939 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 286-4489)? These Northeast Portland joints offer two spicy islands of cheap red beans 'n' rice and Cajun gravy-slathered goodness.

For more Fat Tuesday action check out local club chain Concept Entertainment Group's multi-venue bash at www.cegportland.com .