In a city where stripping for a living is considered less offensive than working for Starbucks, the Mardi Gras tradition of trading a glimpse of one's naughty bits for beads seems downright quaint. To help you maximize your Fat Tuesday sin quotient and plan a personal party parade route, WW has whipped up a Mardi Gras guide organized by a few of our favorite deadly sins.

An extra pat of butter on yer piping-hot weekend.

Acadia: Tie on your lobster bib for a five-course prix fixe dinner at Portland's best N'awlins bistro. Gorge on crawfish, catfish and lobster étouffée, but save room for traditional King cake.

Acadia, 1303 NE Fremont St., 249-5001. 5 pm. $50. All ages.

Philippe's Fat Tuesday: The Heathman's chef, Philippe Boulot, gets saucy with Southern eats like oyster stew and boudin blanc with a side serving of palm readers, live jams from Sneakin' Out and free shots of Absolut vodka.

Heathman Restaurant and Lounge, 1001 SW Broadway, 790-7752. 7 pm. Regular menu prices. Dining room all ages; lounge 21+

It's the one day you can get someone naked for plastic without maxing out your credit card. Celebrate.

CC Slaughters: It's bead-snatching as blood sport at this hot homo spot. Grab the most strands and win $500, free Slaughters admission for a year and a spot on the club's Pride Parade float.

CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis St., 248-9135. 8 pm. FREE 21+.

The Lotus: Finally, Coolio (yes, that Coolio), Geoff Byrd and Extremo the Clown will all perform under the same gigantic tent. Yesss!

The Lotus, 932 SW 3rd Ave, 227-6185. 4 pm. $20 advance, $25 door. 21+.

Voodoo Lounge & Ohm: Party for tsunami relief, go directly to heaven. Proceeds from this steamy double-club bash benefit Northwest Medical Teams. Bonus: Cajun buffet, live rhythm madness from Soul Vaccination and plenty of Old Town ho's.

Voodoo Lounge & Ohm, 53 NW 1st Ave. 241-3840. 4 pm. $5 before 8 pm, $10 after 8 pm. 21+.

Planning to lounge around nude in your apartment covered in beads and eating greasy fried chicken? Cool. Just don't tell us about it.

Beads: Grab a handful of plastic ammunition at Portland's party supply central, The Lippman Company (50 SE Yamhill St., 239-7007).

Masks: Illusionary Designs ( specializes in feathery ball masks. Local artist Monica Roxburgh's spooky Goblin Art ( masks were featured on the cover of Iron Maiden's Dance of Death album. Rawk!

Grub: Why settle for KFC's colonel when you can get with Popeye's Famous Fried Chicken (3120 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 281-8455; 5939 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 286-4489)? These Northeast Portland joints offer two spicy islands of cheap red beans 'n' rice and Cajun gravy-slathered goodness.

For more Fat Tuesday action check out local club chain Concept Entertainment Group's multi-venue bash at .