Passengers always talk to me about sex.

Passengers always talk to me about sex. I hear about people's problems in even more intimate detail than their bartender did before I picked them up. They tell me about their hang-ups, little fetishes and large insecurities. Guys ask me what they're too embarrassed to ask their girlfriends: how to go down, does size really matter, why does she still think she's fat?

"OK, so do girls like it when a man makes a lot of noise?" This guy seems really concerned.

"Well, I can only speak for myself, and for oh, every other girl I've ever talked to, but it drives me insane. I love it. Definitely. Well, not heaving grunts and guttural groans, no...."

He cuts me off. "No, nothing like that...I was making noise like a girl. It was embarrassing. I mean, guys shouldn't do that."

You learn something new every day, and today I learn it's unmanly to moan and sigh and gasp during sex. It's a control thing.

I shake my head in mock disgust. "First of all; you absolutely love it when she just loses it, right? Well, then why shouldn't she be allowed the same pleasure?" He ponders this.

"And more importantly, dude, you're kidding yourself if you think you're in control, ever, from the moment you first got that hard-on and decided to share it with someone." He starts laughing. "Am I right?"

He hands me a $20 and gets out; I hear him laughing on down the block.