Still the best two minutes of your day.

Portland Public Schools got some good financial news for a change. Two large foundations are giving them nearly $11 million, over half of which will go to teacher training in middle and high schools. But hold down the partying—schools must still replace $50 million lost when the county income tax expires.

Suspected drug dealers and prostitutes may get broader street-roaming privileges in the city's drug- and prostitution-free zones. With the zones up for renewal, Mayor Tom Potter is proposing that suspects be excluded only after prosecutors actually file charges, instead of excluding them on suspicion alone.

Rock-'n'-roll geezers got two bites of the apple in Portland last week when the Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney both descended on the Rose Garden. Insert your own "When I'm 64" joke here.

LOSERS

Heterosexual marriage, yes. Gay marriage, still a no in 21st-century Oregon after same-sex couples lost their lawsuit challenging Measure 36. Despite losing the Marion County court decision, gay-rights advocates will no doubt file an appeal (see Queer Window, page 44) of the gay marriage ban OK'd by state voters last year.

Northern spotted owls shivered in their nests this week at news that the federal Bureau of Land Management is about to open up 2.5 million acres in western Oregon to logging, including wildlife reserves intended to provide a safe haven for endangered critters. Buh-bye, Woodsy!

Patients at Kaiser and OHSU should thank The Oregonian for its investigation into just how little the two institutions, along with the Oregon Board of Medical Examiners, have done to protect them from bad doctors. Meanwhile, those patients are left to wonder just how many unreported malpractice claims their docs had for more than a decade.

Busted! Freightliner suspended 37 employees for sharing "inappropriate materials" (i.e. porn) on the internal computer network at the company's Swan Island truck plant. Union reps say the company cracked down before hearing their members' side of the story. And that side is...?

WWeek 2015