Can't stand the heat? These restaurants can either help you stock your home dinner table or keep you outta the kitchen altogether. Remember, you're not the only one in town terrified of turkey basters, so secure a Thanksgiving table or reserve your holiday turkey, pies and sides today!

SWANKY SITDOWNS

Mother's Bistro

Work on your extra layer of fat with creamy soups, roasted turkey, sweet-potato-apple casserole and fresh cranberry-orange sauce. Yum. 409 SW 2nd Ave., 464-1122. Feedings at 1 pm, 4:30 pm and 7 pm. $29.95, $14.95 children under 12.

Paley's Place

Celebrate with a menu stuffed with wild king salmon, rabbit, glazed ham, mushroom risotto, steak and, of course, turkey. 1204 NW 21st Ave., 243-2403. 2:30-8:30 pm. Regular menu prices.

Vita Café

Give thanks over plates of vegetarian chicken-fried steak and meatloaf, salmon, polenta, vegan cheese cakes and apple cobbler. Oh. God. 3024 NE Alberta St. 335-8233. 11 am-7 pm. Parties of six or more, call ahead for availability.

BOUNTIFUL BUFFET LINES

The Heathman Restaurant

Spoil yourself with global bounty. Check this out: seafood bar, sushi stations, dim sum (!), citrus cured pork rack, barbecued steelhead, pear frangipane tart and mousse au chocolat. 1001 SW Broadway, 790-7752. 11 am-4 pm buffet, 11:30 am-7:30 pm prix fixe dinner. $41, $14 kids under 12.

Portland City Grill

Go seaward with the cedar plank-roasted salmon with blood-orange ponzu and chili glaze, and save room for the chocolate-macadamia torte. 111 SW 5th Ave. 450-0030. Noon-8 pm. $29.95 buffet, $21.95 turkey sit-down dinner.

Veganopolis

Check out the by-the-pound vegan lentil loaf, tofurkey, cran relish, potatoes and enough desserts and pie to make you sick. Can't dine in? Pick up your vegan-friendly dishes on the way to your family's meat feast. 412 SW 4th Ave. 226-3400. Buffet from noon-6 pm. Prices around $12.95 per pound.

BADASS BIRDS

Gartner's Country Meats

Gartner's hawks between 500 and 600 Northwest Natural birds each Turkey Day, this year coming in at $1.39 per pound. 7450 NE Killingsworth St. 252-7801. Order by Nov. 22.

City Market

Swing by City Market's Viande Meats for your Mary's Free-Range Heritage Turkey—organic or, um, normal—at $3.50-$4.95 per pound. 735 NW 21st Ave, 221-3007.FULL MEAL FAKERY

Elephants Delicatessen

Make your holiday a little less down home and little more sexy with Elephant's gourmet sides and chic spins on traditional dishes. 115 NW 22nd Ave. 299-6304 and other locations. Place orders by Nov. 21.

Whole Foods Market

Fool your guests into thinking you're a Cordon Bleu grad with Whole Foods' classic made-to-order dinners (Diestel Roasted Turkey, potatoes... the works). The market's surprisingly delish vegan dinners feature wheat-gluten field roast. 1210 NW Couch St. 525-4343. Order half dinners ($54.99, serves two to four) or full dinners ($99.99, six to eight) until Monday, Nov. 21.

New Seasons Market

Buy stuff you can't mess up: broccoli cheddar casserole, cornbread stuffing, mushroom strudel and vegan pumpkin pie. Or just screw trying and order the whole meal online or by phone by Nov. 19. 5320 NE 33rd Ave., 288-3838 and other locations, www.newseasonsmarket.com.

SINFUL SWEETS

Baker and Spice

We're talkin' hazelnut-crusted caramel and chocolate tarts (both $10-$25), double crusted pear raspberry pies and artisan breads. Oh yeah. 6330 SW Capitol Hwy., 244-7573. Open 8 am-1 pm on Thanksgiving.

Criollo Bakery

Load up on must-have pies (pumpkin, apple and pecan, $18-$22) or Guinness stout gingerbread soaked in ginger syrup ($18) from this decadent sugar shack. 4727 NE Fremont St. 335-9331.

JaCiva's

Check out that four-pound chocolate turkey. JaCiva's got 'em, stuffed with jelly beans, caramels, trinkets, truffles and crack. OK, not the last one—but that's the only thing more addictive than chocolate turkeys. 4733 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 234-8115.