Gossip Should Have No Friends

MEN AT WORK When Part 2 of the Portland Tribune's gay-porn series (a.k.a. the Trib's Weekend Life cover page) hit newsstands last Friday, Oregon Ballet Theatre dancer Brennan Boyer's hat wasn't the only thing that looked hard. That's right, artsy-fartsy softcore smut fans: A fabulous OBT foursome has replaced heartthrob Carlos Kalmar as the paper's pinup cover boy (the Oregon Symphony's music director appeared bare-chested astride a Harley in the Trib in November). Seriously, though: What the f$#@? Look closely at Jon Drake's (bottom right) raised arms: Is it just us,or do his rippling wrists look totally tied and bound? And is he checking out Boyer's package? Someone, for the love of God, please help us to understand.

SUSPICIOUS LINES After a flurry of news articles chronicling a University of Oregon professor's fractal analysis of suspected fake Jackson Pollock paintings, some wondered about the authenticity of the Portland Art Museum's own Pollock work. Bruce Guenther, PAM's curator of modern and contemporary art, insists the museum's Pollock, an untitled 1951 drawing, is as authentic as they come. "There's a photograph of Pollock drawing it and eyewitness accounts of him giving it to [art critic] Clement Greenberg. We know where that drawing has been literally from the day it was drawn to the day it arrived on the museum's doorstep in 2001." Whew.

JUST IN Sarah Dougher, news editor for Just Out, this town's only queer newspaper, was handed her walking papers by publisher Marty Davis last Friday afternoon. According to Dougher, who's also a nationally acclaimed singer-songwriter and a women's studies professor, Davis told her the split was due to a lack of "chemistry" between the two journos. Despite the odd wordage, the fact is that Just Out has just lost one its strongest voices. When contacted for comment, Davis shut Scoop down with an abrupt statement: "I never discuss personnel matters with the press."

WEB-ONLY SCOOPS!

GEEK OR PINK? Local filmmaker James Westby has just returned from New York City, where Film Geek opened last week to mixed reviews. The Post liked it; the Village Voice—like Portland's own Mercury—didn't get it. But Entertainment Weekly enjoyed the film, giving it a B+. Speaking of reviews, Pink Martini received a glowing review from discriminating New York Times critic Jon Pareles for last Wednesday's sold-out show at Manhattan's Town Hall. Pareles gushed that Thomas Lauderdale "played his piano filigrees with the swooping gestures of Liberace" and lead singer China Forbes "is an unpretentious, pitch-perfect chanteuse." Bravo.

LOVE...SORT OF Lovers got a hearty awakening upon opening their Valentine's Day card from In the Bag, a stationery shop on Northwest 23rd Avenue. Instead of seeing "I Love You...Always," as indicated by the sample greeting card, a slew of what looked like the same card spewed out a half-hearted "I Love You...Sometimes." Shopkeepers had no idea how the card ended up on the shelves and agreed it was "a very cruel joke" to pull on a loved one. Thank god Scoop doesn't believe in love anyway.