|Tristan allen (left)|
Naturally, we expected a dentally challenged parolee in a Molly Hatchet T-shirt leaning against the Zipper. We found the Zipper, but the quintessential carny was nowhere in sight. Instead, a surprisingly well-groomed trio, in snappy white uniforms with orange and yellow epaulets, operated the notorious vomit factory.
Along with a sharp look, these new-school carnies apparently undergo state-of-the-art media training. "We're not allowed to talk to any press," said one Zipper attendant.
Thus do stereotypes—and romantic notions of meth, biker porn and bar fights in Sioux City—die.
If the ride operators were a snooze, the riders themselves showed no shortage of personality. We dove in to the swirling miasma of mud, sweat and elephant ears to find out what draws people to the neon-lit sugar rush that is Waterfront Village.
THOMAS COLE, PORTLAND
WHY HE IS PART OF THE ROSE FESTIVAL EXPERIENCE: "We come down to just cruise around and try to see people we know."
IS HE TOO 'PUNK' FOR ROSE FESTIVAL? "Nah. We like to have fun, too."
RIDES? "Nope, no money. We might get hooked up to go on the swings here in a second."
JOSH SHARP, VANCOUVER, WASH.
THE BEST THING ABOUT ROSE FESTIVAL SO FAR: "I had a Philly steak sandwich with onions. A lot of onions."
WHY HE DID NOT RIDE "THE INVERTER": "It looks like the kind of a ride that makes you throw up."
KATHLEEN WARD, RITA SNODGRASS AND AIDAN SNODGRASS WARD, PORTLAND
AIDAN'S FRUSTRATION: "He's too short to go on any of the rides. But he sure wants to."
ISN'T THE ROSE FESTIVAL AWFULLY...UM, STRAIGHT? "It sure is...but they're doing much better. When we've come before, it wasn't that great. It was just blah. It's much more family-oriented now, family-friendly. We feel much more comfortable coming down here. It seems like they're headed in the right direction."
AND THE PRINCESSES? "Well, that part's a little bit weird."
CRAIG YOUNG, BEAVERTON
WHY IS HE IN A HURRY? "I brought my family down here to see the fireworks...it looks like I lost them."
THE UPSIDE: "I got some pizza."
TRISTAN ALLEN, KODIAK, ALASKA
SMARTASS "REASON" HE CAME TO ROSE FESTIVAL: "Selling drugs."
THE REAL REASON: "The hot girls."
ANDREW MIGLIORETTO, 14, COLIN VOGEL, 16, AND RIKU LAMBERT, 14, HILLSBORO
WHAT ARE THEY UP TO? "We were just running from back there, so we can get to the rides again.... We need to find our friends so we can go on more rides."
ON BECOMING MEN: "I used to come with my parents, years and years ago. This is the first time we've gotten to come down, which is pretty cool."