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July 26th, 2006 Night Cabbie | NIGHT CABBIE
 

Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.

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"Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first." This is seldom a good sign. Usually the passenger who says this is looking for a significant other's car, and this means drama.

Sure enough, her car is seen, my man goes in, and is in short order put out again by security. This brings on The Rant. However, I've heard this guy, and this guy's particular rant, before.

"Dude, I've driven you several times, and you've complained about her each time: how you buy her nice things, pay her car insurance, and yet she still treats you like shit. Why do you put up with it? Is she the best cocksucker in the world or something?"

"You hit the nail right on the head, right there, you did," he replies. "She's the best I've ever had in 34 countries I've visited." This raises the rather unappetizing image of him visiting countries for the express purpose of getting laid.

Thankfully, he distracts me from this by ranting about how she had him put out of the club. She was apparently upset by someone else in the club telling her that her man had recently left with another woman. He claims to have gone up to her tonight and asked her to point him toward "the simpleton filling her head with all this shit. Just tell me who he is." Instead, she signaled security.

"Sounds like someone who wants to date her," say I. "Damn straight he wants to date her," says he.

It seems her prowess has not gone unnoticed.

 
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07.25.2006 at 09:00 Reply
Remember this?"Admiral Hyman G. Rickover once said, 'Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.' I wonder what he would have made of [columns] like [this]."—Fritz

 

07.27.2006 at 09:00 Reply
Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.Yes, but great minds also live out day to day events like this. —To Fritz

 

07.31.2006 at 09:00 Reply
Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.Hey, they aren't paying me to write theosophical treatises you know. They're paying me for freaky stories irreverently told.It's a newspaper, those tend to cover events. You want think pieces, try Atlantic Monthly or something...—night cabbie

 

08.05.2006 at 09:00 Reply
Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.And what would Admiral Rickover say about people who use their valuable time to comment on the size of various minds reading and writing variously entertaining, humanistic and insightful columns in weekly papers? Does "Size P" stand for "Petite" or "petty"?—Gillian At Your Service

 

08.07.2006 at 09:00 Reply
Club 1222, but I need to scan the parking lot first.You guys must not be as faithful in reading this column as I am: I lifted that quote straight from Night Cabbie's own column from a few weeks ago (see "What do you all have to talk about?"). I don't necessarily agree with it, I just wanted to point out that Night Cabbie was being inconsistent in her pretentious condescension (which, by the way, is the reason I am a fan of the column). Funny, when someone disagreed with the quote back then, the commenters defended Night Cabbie. And now, when someone else uses the quote against her, the commenters again defend Night Cabbie. You can do no wrong, Night Cabbie! Thanks for the entertainment. —Fritz

 

 
 

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