Ostriches can run at a speed of 40 mph for a quarter-mile. If Smoked Ostrich Bones ($15, Green Dog Pet Supply, 4605 NE Fremont St., 528-1800) gain in popularity, they might have to run faster. Or learn how to fly. Dogs will thank you for this titanic tibia and gnaw on it for days.
Sophisticated canines tire of mundane doggy treats. Paw-leese—the faux bones aren't even worth the effort of playing dead. Try the gourmet Paw Lollipop ($4, LexiDog Boutique & Social Club, 416 NW 10th Ave., 243-6200), a confectionery treat of creamy carob and yogurt chips on top of a rawhide stick. It's made from natural ingredients safe for dog stomachs. Shake hands? Sure.
The "Lucky 12" are arousing dog "models" from Pee-town. Captain, Bogey and Petey are part of this group. They pose in the ruff for the 2007 Pups of Portland Calendar ($15, Pearl Retriever, 526 NW 13th Ave., 295-6960). Fifty percent of the proceeds go to DoveLewis, a local 24-hour emergency and ICU animal hospital. Posters are available too, and quite fetching.
An upturned Ultimate Frisbee disc can hold an entire pitcher of beer. It could also hold a pitcher of dog food. But it can't fit both at the same time. That's why the Lucky Lab Traveling Dog Bowl ($20, Lucky Labrador Brewing Co., 915 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 236-3555) is important. This washable, collapsible and portable dog dish makes for simple feeding, anywhere. Take it to the pub. And save the Frisbee for chase.
Negligent pet-sitters wreak havoc on the psyche of our animals. A better alternative to the neighborhood elementary-school student is a five-night package to the Wag Hotel ($150, Wag the Dog, 2410 SE 50th Ave., 238-0737). Here a pet can relax on a 7-inch raised bed in a luxurious 5-by-5-foot suite. Classical music plays throughout the day; soft blankets, food, water and bedtime treats are provided. Make reservations well in advance, as the Wag has a lodging capacity of only seven suites. Heathman, bow down.
"I am so not a vegetarian." The statement holds true for most pets, and now it can be attached to their collar with a Pamela Barsky original pendant ($12, pamelabarsky.com). Colors range from orange to olive and are made of cast pewter and epoxy enamel. Other statements include "sir barksalot," "shit happens" and "so much to smell, so little time." "Ball-less wonder" didn't make the cut.
A 1965 Polaroid Land camera, distressed dogs and wet cats. Add in Hurricane Katrina and the combination lacks humor. The Oregon Humane Society spent almost a month in New Orleans and Baton Rouge rescuing hundreds of pets left behind. Tails From Katrina ($35, Humane Society of Oregon, 1067 NE Columbia Blvd., 416-5036) documents the feeling of abandonment in the faces of 78 dogs and 15 cats. Wieden & Kennedy published the book, and all profits from the sale go to OHS.
The male grouse is a polygamous bird with feathers down to its toes. It has an elaborate courtship display. And, given half a chance, a cat would slash its throat. The Go-Cat Natural Grouse Feather Toy ($5, The Cat's Meow, 3538 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 231-1341) is a rod that dangles a feather on the end of 50-pound-test braided nylon string. It mimics the flight of a real bird. Cats obsess over it.
Dogs are great friends to get drunk with in the afternoon. Salty's Dog Shop (3741 N Mississippi Ave., 249-1432) encourages it with a pet-friendly happy hour (4-7 pm, Monday-Friday): Buy five dollars' worth of bulk food and get 15 percent off a treat for your pet and 50 cents off a pint at Amnesia Brewing for yourself (832 N Beech St., 281-7700). Sweet.
The pillow is a simple device used to support the head and neck while sleeping. The Spoiled Cat Catnip Body Pillow ($6, Green Dog Pet Supply, 4605 NE Fremont St., 528-1800) is a simple device used to tweak the brains of cats. This locally made pillow, in the shape of a small log, is stuffed with organic catnip and other recycled materials. It's a way for cats to kick and bite themselves to sleep.
Scooby Clues Trade the muzzle for a puzzle. The Buster Food Cube ($30, Beauty for the Beast, 3832 NE Sandy Blvd., 288-5280) is a great gift for any canine with Will Shortz tendencies.
Pet Parking Five minutes from the airport is the Air Pet Hotel ($28 for dogs, Air Pet Hotel, 6212 NE 78th Court, Suite B, 255-1388). Overnight boarding includes supervised indoor play, outdoor potty-breaks and a midday nap.
Dippity-Doo Pet poop curls like frozen yogurt at the top of a cone. Chocolate DewDrops ($9, Balloons on Broadway, 617 SW Washington St., 241-3336) are 5.6 ounces of Guittard milk chocolate in the shape of pet poo. They go great with frozen yogurt.