Hard not to be a winner when you get a $2 million settlement from the feds like lawyer Brandon Mayfield. But from the "wish-we'd-said-it-first" department, Jack Bog's Blog (bojack.org) also points out that after Mayfield pays his bigtime attorney Gerry Spence, the "Mayfield family will probably have enough left over for a Blazer game." (See Murmurs, page 13, to learn the IRS's cut of the settlement.)

Public-employee unions provided much of the money and brains that won Gov. Ted Kulongoski re-election. Last week, the Democratic guv acknowledged that help by putting two top union figures, former Oregon Education Association lobbyist Chip Terhune and former AFL-CIO chief Tim Nesbitt, at the top of his staff (as first reported on WWire at wweek.com).

Sick-time-abusing Multnomah County Sheriff's deputies may be feeling a little better while they lounge, er, recuperate. There's a new abuse in town, according to The Oregonian, which reports several City of Portland employees taking heat for improperly keeping exes as dependents for city benefits. The estimated cost to the city: at least $50,000.

LOSERS

West Hills matrons will have to juggle their manicure appointments with treks to the 'burbs for all their luxury fur needs, now that protester-plagued Schumacher Furs is leaving downtown. (See page 15 for more on this story.)

Lincoln High, with the approval of all but one School Board member last Thursday, is putting a stop to freshman transfers in an effort to end overcrowding. The flipside of the new policy? Fewer black and Latino high-school students will be able to enroll at the lily-white westside school.

Wrestling fans around the world are saddened to learn that local grappling legend "Rowdy Roddy" Piper is in a cage match against lymphatic cancer. The 52-year-old Piper vows in a statement, "This fight is one I am gonna win!" We believe you, Roddy. Nobody is breaking out the mournful bagpipes over here.