Multnomah County Sheriff Bernie Giusto, already known within his department as "porno pants" for a string of amorous adventures, can add "real Slim Shady" and "Teflon" to his list of unflattering nicknames. But at least the more recent monikers come from a victory (albeit a tainted one) when the state Department of Justice last week found Giusto didn't break any laws when helping influential friends ("The Long Arm of the Law," WW, July 20, 2005).

Slap-happy Portland cops, take note. Austin Wade Leroux collected $34,500 from the Portland City Council last week to settle his claim that he was slapped in the face by a Portland police officer while in custody last year.

Vodka shots all around! Oregon Steel Mills CEO James Declusin stands to rake in $6 million if the sale of Oregon Steel to Russian company Evraz Group goes through despite alleged shady connections between Evraz and the Kremlin.

LOSERS

A reminder to TriMet commuters to start preparing your late-for-work excuses now. Thanks to the gutting of the downtown mall to make way for a new MAX line, many buses will be moved from the mall onto traffic-choked 3rd and 4th avenues until 2009.

More than two months after WW warned of an impending Manhattan transfer—a local assault on trans fat ("No Fries for You," Oct. 25, 2006) following New York City's ban—Multnomah County Commissioner Lisa Naito last week proposed new regulations on the heart-stopping oil. That proposal comes on top of local Starbucks outlets also putting the kibosh on trans fat. Food scolds, rejoice.

Beware Eastern Oregonians bearing fruit. On Sunday, the The Oregonian reported state health officials were concerned about levels of perchlorate—a rocket-fuel component—moving from the water table in Eastern Oregon into the state's food chain, especially melons and milk. Last fall, as it turns out, a Hermiston farmer delivered 7,000 pounds of melon so each Portland Public Schools student could have a slice.