Monkeys in cages. Salmon in trucks.

5 Comments

Tags:

Winners

1 You wouldn’t think the fluoride mafia would have any pull in Oregon, one of the few states that doesn’t put fluoride in its water. But a state report last week slamming rampant rot in our children’s teeth reads like it came straight from would-be fluoridators—or an underpaid dentist’s office.

2 The University of Portland women’s soccer team overcame its annual tournament hose job by the NCAA—getting sent to play early-round games on the road despite a high seed. The Pilots’ reward for winning two road contests last week and advancing to the third round: an actual home game this Saturday, Nov. 24, against Tennessee.

3 In a PR coup by local scientists who experiment on animals , OHSU researchers announced breakthroughs on monkey stem-cell cloning following major successes cloning precursors to monkey embryos. The news broke the day after PETA announced it had infiltrated OHSU’s primate-research center and found evidence of abuse against monkeys. Maybe the million-dollar clones will get more respect. (See page 12 for more on PETA’s infiltration.)

Losers

1 Look for a whole lot more car washes at Jesuit High School. The Oregon Province of the Society of Jesus, of which the westside high school is part, agreed to pay out $50 million this week to compensate victims abused by Jesuit priests in Alaska. Can the kids wash away their elders’ sins?

2Salmon lose again. The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission last week OK-ed the relicensing of four controversial PacifiCorp dams on the Klamath River in Southern Oregon. That fishy decision comes despite federal studies showing scrapping the dams to be cheaper—not to mention better for fish—than herding salmon into traps and trucking them 80 miles around the dams.

3 Budding artists feel the heat after a Southern Oregon first-grader was suspended from school for drawing a stick figure shooting another stick figure in the head. Stick to tanks and planes, kids! It’s not murder when the U.S. government does it.

11.21.2007 at 08:15 Reply

newsguy

this was the FERC staff making the recommendation on relicensing, which is different from FERC itself issuing a final decision.

11.21.2007 at 12:16 Reply

monkey Gitmo

The timing of the announcement of the monkey stem cell "breakthroughs" was craven. That this line of reasearch is worthless became evident yesterday.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/21/science/21stem.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Stem cells from people for people? What a concept. So what will the next excuse for the existence of monkey torture programs be?

I was not reassured to learn that the cages are big enough for the monkeys to get out of the way of high pressure cleaning hoses and that bleeding prolapsed rectums are normal for stressed monkeys and that they get used to it all after a while. They don't have the means to commit suicide, do they?

11.22.2007 at 07:43 Reply

Electricityguy

I agree with newsguy. A recommendation by FERC staff is non-binding and purely advisory. But the dams should come down either way. Warren Buffett and his rich cronies who own PacifiCorp should stop killing our fish and cut our outrageous electricity rates.

11.23.2007 at 12:59 Reply

Jefe

Well, if the monkeys at OHSU are being treated so badly, then here's a solution; release the monkeys and experiment on PETA members! Then we'd all be happy; the PETA morons wouldn't have to cry over the monkeys anymore and the rest of us would be rid of crazy PETA freaks! Two birds with one stone!

11.24.2007 at 11:27 Reply

Bobo

My friend - rather hesitantly - took a job doing pathology on monkeys at the OHSU site. After a few months working there, she gave it the thumbs up. The monkeys, for the most part, are treated really well. For the ones that reportedly aren't, is making an omelette the appropriate excuse? I think so, unless you want to get rid of all the medical advances that have come from animal testing. It's hard to sit comfortably in a society that owes its existence to these "evils" and say "STOP!" At least I think it ought to be but trustafarians and hipsters are really good at being self-righteous hypocrites.

Doctor Groups Flex Muscle In Capitol: $2.3 Million in Campaign Cash to Influence Health-Care Reform

Nonsense Knows No State Boundary: Washington Legislators Get Bogus Job Claims on CRC

Occupy Arrestees Win Their Right to Full Trials—Even Though They May Not Need It

Almost Live: Rockets at Blazers

Monkeys in cages. Salmon in trucks.

Winners

Losers