Suspended Animation: Timber Jim

Winners

1 Mazel Tov! The Oregon Supreme Court has ruled that a 12-year-old boy will have a say in whether or not he’ll be circumcised, unlike many American goyim and non-goyim. The boy’s divorced parents had been fighting over the fateful snip for three years, ever since Dad, a convert to Judaism, scheduled the procedure. The choice now? A moment of pain or a lifetime of dad-induced guilt.

2 PETA members got more encouragement to make Portland into their personal playground, after a federal judge ordered Portland furrier Gregg Schumacher to pay $96,000-plus in legal fees to animal-rights activists who protested in front of his downtown store. Schumacher accused the activists of hurting his business with terror tactics like dancing naked and spreading feces. Next stop: OHSU’s animal lab.

3 In a move that solidified his green credentials and attested to the toughness of the Portland lefty car of choice, House Speaker and U.S. Senate contender Jeff Merkley (D-East Portland) came up in one piece after rolling a Prius on black ice near Sisters during a campaign trip. A Toyota endorsement in the making?

Losers

1 A half-inch of snow was enough to bring Portland to a screeching halt this week. While thousands of kids celebrated a two-hour school delay Monday, their parents had to play babysitter—and explain yet again to their employers why a dusting in Portland causes a freak-out akin to fingernail clippers on an airplane.

2 The only thing louder than a chainsaw these days? The collective wail of Portland Timbers fans who must deal with last week’s announcement by “Timber Jim” Serrill (Q&A, May 25, 2005) that he will retire as the soccer team’s beloved mascot. Our “Help Wanted” ad: non-costumed replacement who can climb tall poles, cut wood and bang a drum.

3 Terroir Restaurant and Wine Bar in Northeast Portland closed last week after all of eight months on Northeast Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard (see both Scoop and this WWire post for more). The shutdown followed tepid reviews and a starring role last week as WW’ s Rogue of the Week for Stu Stein, Terroir’s chef and owner.