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April 24th, 2002 Britta West | News Stories
 

Kattle Mutilation

     
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The herd of fiberglass cows--uh, make that "kows"--who lumbered into town three weeks ago to raise money for at-risk kids has obviously been a hit with most Portlanders. But recently WW has received disquieting reports of kattle being defaced, mutilated and even shunned--reports that leave us udderly astonished.

Project organizer Kows for Kids admits it has kidnapped some of the 108 bovine statuary in the dead of the night to fix up minor nicks and scrapes. They have also repainted two kows in the South Park Blocks that vandals had stenciled "Mad Cow."

Meanwhile, tempers have been rising at the Pearl District's Paragon restaurant over a kow named "Kownivor," whose left side resembles a bovine skeleton seen through an x-ray and whose right side is a mass of exposed musculature.

Artistic as it may be, this fleshy display has proven distinctly unappetizing for some of Paragon's customers, especially those considering a filet mignon.

Beefy Paragon employees gently herded Kownivor from the patio to the front window, and later to an adjacent storefront--"the front window just wasn't the right place for her," says Paragon manager Joe Moreau--where her presence would no longer constitute a gustatory impediment. Kownivor was last seen heading west on Hoyt Street.

 
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