“I feel completely fucked over.”

—Heart guitarist and fair-weather Oregonian Nancy Wilson to Entertainment Weekly, on the McCain campaign’s use of “Barracuda” as a theme song for wannabe veep Sarah Palin. Wilson says Palin’s views and values don’t represent her.

Hope she keeps the baby.

“We didn’t sit down and figure this out with a calculator.”

—U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson Jr. on the federal takeover of mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which could cost taxpayers $25 billion.

This makes the $75 million Paulson’s son, Merritt, wants from the city of Portland to move Beavers baseball to Lents and bring Major League Soccer to PGE Park look like peanuts. Next to his dad, Merritt is still playing in the bush leagues.

According to a Mexican prosecutor, cops in San Jose del Cabo beat Oregon native Sam Botner to death two weeks ago after Botner apparently got jacked up on drugs and stabbed a local. The Oregonian asks, “Is Mexico safe?”

According to the U.S. Border Patrol, nearly 500 people a year die while crossing into America on their way to mow your lawn and wash your dishes. Is America safe?

Portland Public Schools Superintendent Carole Smith told City Club of Portland she won’t close a high school—this year.

This is about as helpful as when George W. Bush says he’ll “give diplomacy a chance to work” with Iran.

“Today, almost everyone in America over 40 has a searing image from childhood. It’s of a big cat in a small cage, the tiger pacing back and forth, back and forth, post-traumatic stress disorder made manifest.”

—Oregonian columnist Jonathan Nicholas railing in the Sept. 7 edition against public zoos while the rest of Portland votes on a name for Rose-Tu the elephant’s new baby.

Finally, someone at The O goes out on a limb. Too bad it wasn’t over the looming Beavers stadium boondoggle, the perfectly sensible proposal to lower the drinking age, or the fact that Jeff Merkley’s U.S. Senate campaign is as boring as a dentist’s office.