WHAT A RELIEF! On Oct. 13, as big government bailouts finally boosted global stock markets, Portland Mayor Tom Potter canceled a planned trip to Zimbabwe, “due to escalating concerns about the economy.” His wife and chief of staff will go ahead without him.

AN INCONVENIENT SCOOP: Inside Edition, the show that launched Bill O’Reilly’s career and still breaks news about Gary Coleman’s love life—reported that U.S. Reps. Darlene Hooley (D-West Linn) and Brian Baird (D-Vancouver) joined other members of Congress on a taxpayer-funded junket to the Galapagos Islands, “one of the world’s most magical places.” They went there to study global warming.

BEATING THE RECESSION: The Oregonian reported that anti-tax-champ Bill Sizemore used money from a nonprofit foundation funded by wealthy Nevada sex hypnotist Loren Parks to buy a car for his wife, braces for his daughter and a vacation condo in Mexico.

LOSING TO THE RECESSION: Vancouver Columbian publisher Scott Campbell announced the cost of the daily’s new $30 million headquarters had dragged the 118-year-old newspaper to the brink of bankruptcy.

OBAMA SUPPORTERS RACE TO CLOSE IDIOT GAP: Two men were arrested over the weekend for throwing Molotov cocktails at a 4-by-8-foot John McCain lawn sign in Sellwood.