“I always wanted cleavage, so I went out and acquired some.” —Stu Rasmussen, elected last week in Silverton as the first openly transidentified mayor in the country.

The good news: Bicycle use in Portland is up 28 percent from last year.

“I’m going to go back into private life and put on my boots and get back into the pea fields and help make the world a better place in a much more local way.” —Republican Gordon Smith, returning to Pendleton after losing the U.S. Senate seat he held for 12 years.

This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse: Coca-Cola is planning to bottle Willamette River water at an expanded Wilsonville plant.

$34.1 million: Losses sustained by Vancouver-based Nautilus Inc.—the maker of Bowflex and the StairMaster—in the last quarter.