BEAVER DAMMED: The University of Oregon football team demolished Oregon State University 65-38 Saturday, all but certainly denying the Beavers their first trip to the Rose Bowl since 1965. In other news, Duck officials have proposed changing the iconic “Made in Oregon” sign in Old Town to read “University of Oregon.”

BLACK FRIDAY, BLEAK ECONOMY: Business was sluggish at Portland malls on Friday, traditionally the busiest shopping day of the year.

JUSTICE FOR ROGUE ALUM?: A federal judge has ruled up to 85 sea lions may be killed each year for five years, if there’s no other way to stop them from sucking down endangered salmon at Bonneville Dam. No word if one of the more prolific chow-hounding seals (“Rogue of the Week,” WW, April 12, 2006) could be targeted in that grim sentence.

TRAGEDY! Snowball, the most famous black-tailed doe on earth, will not return to the family that rescued her seven years ago, the Oregon Court of Appeals ruled Wednesday.