It finally happened. In the current issue of Willamette Week, we accidentally said that Portland D.I.Y. hardcore band Tragedy was playing Rock N Roll Pizza (a crazy venue on the road to Portland) Saturday night. The reality is that another
band called Tragedy (this one influenced heavily by Insane Clown Posse and horror movies) is playing RNR, not the well-respected hardcore group. It's a mistake WW regrets, but one you're likely to encounter again, should you be a fan of either band, in the future. So we've compiled this long-overdue, handy test to decipher which Tragedy is which.
1. Is anyone on stage wearing face paint?
2. Are the numbers "503" prominently featured in advertisements for the show?
3. Are razorblades prominently featured in advertisements for the show?
4. Are the Axe Murder Boys the opening act?
5. Are there trashy-looking dancing girls on stage?
6. Is the group threatening you with threats physical violence?
7. Is the group threatening "oppressors" and government officials with threats of physical violence?
8. Is the show in a basement?
9. Are kids throwing their fists in the air?
10. Is the singer going "BAH RAH RAH RAH RAAAAAHHHHH!"?
11. Are your ears bleeding?
12. Is the singer also going "BOOOOOOOOHHHHHHRRRRRRR!!"?
1-6: Give yourself one point for each yes and subtract a point for each no.
7-12: Give yourself one point for each no and subtract a point for each yes.
-12 to -4:
You are probably seeing the seminal punk band. Affix patches accordingly and get in the pit!
-4 to 4:
It is unclear which Tragedy you are seeing. It's highly likely that there is a third, rap-rock-political-hardcore Tragedy that we don't know about. Tragedy Andy, maybe?
4 to 12:
You are seeing the horror-rap Tragedy, aka Tragedy 503. Run for your goddamn life while you still can.
TONIGHT's Tragedy show at Tonic Lounge is the Tragedy with the "WAAAAARRRHHHH!" and the "GOOOOOOAAAAHAHHHHHH!!!"'s.
Photos from the band-spaces.