March 21st, 2007 | by Nate Smith News | Posted In: CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP, Sports

That's How They Roll

     
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Rose City RollersQuick! Strap on your fishnet stockings and dust off your Quads. The Rose City Rollers are holding tryouts tonight! If you've ever dreamt of racing around a roller rink while avoiding the burly elbows of a wiry woman with blood stains encrusted on her skirt, then this is your chance! Head out to The Hanger at Oaks Park, located at 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. Sign-in is at 6:45 pm and the tryouts will be from 7-8:45 pm. According to the Rollers all you need to bring is your ID (21+), skates, knee and elbow pads, wrist guards, and a helmet. But WW has got your back. Here are a few more things you should bring along if you want to make the team.

Alter Ego: We know you are a humble librarian/barista/accountant, but that just ain't gonna cut it for the Rose City Rollers. Unleash the beast within and show them you have what it takes to smear another girl's guts all over the rink.

Nickname: Listen, Sally, nobody is scared of you. But if you start going by Sally Slaughter, people might start giving you a little more respect. Every Rose City Roller has an awesome nickname. Here are a few ideas you could try: The Menstrual Marauder, Lady Laceration, or Body Bag Becky.

Outfit: Leave your cute little Nike Town outfit at home. It's time to break out that old Catholic schoolgirl outfit, or maybe that nasty purple sequined top that you thought would never see the light of day again. The key here is to be outrageous and anything BUT fashionable. Click here for some examples.

Blood: It doesn't really matter if it is your blood, or someone else's blood, but it will be a major bonus if you show up with some on you already.
 
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