Local Dentist Wants Your Halloween Candy

It's either a diabolical tooth care plot designed to part your mouth from its favorite sugary treats or a sweet patriotic gesture—or both.

Gresham pediatric dentist Dr. Douglas Park is holding a Halloween Candy Buy Back from November 1-5. He'll give you $1 for every pound of Tootsie Rolls, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and mini Snickers (mmmmm, mini Snickers) you turn in. All of the candy collected will be donated to the troops serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. "Not only will it save your teeth," he explains. "...our troops that are serving our country overseas will be able to enjoy a Halloween away from home."

No fair just selling back your piddly ass Sun-Maid raisin boxes and Bit-O-Honeys. Our fighting men and women deserve better than that.

CANDY FOR CASH: The Great Halloween Candy Buy Back takes place at Dr. Douglas Park's office at 1201 SE 223rd Ave. Ste 240, Gresham, 666-9800. 9 am-5 pm Nov. 1-5.

Note: Has anybody ever actually seen The Dentist 2: Brace Yourself, staring L.A. Law and Major League star Corbin Bernsen as murdering dentist Dr. Caine? Because now that I've found this amazing poster I've pretty much got to rent it.