February 19th, 2007 5:33 pm | by Lance Kramer News | Posted In: CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP

The Portland Condom: Ponchos For Our Wee Ones

NYC_Condom_product_shotOn Valentine's Day the Big Apple revealed its newest sexual pride and joy: the NYC Condom.

Each year, to promote safe sex, the NYC Health Department will distribute at least 18 million of the boutique-quality Lifestyles condoms at over 900 locations citywide - get this...for FREE.

There's really no reason why New Yorkers should be having more sex, on the city's dime, than Portlanders. So we did a quick straw poll at the WW office to see what an official PDX rubber might look, feel and taste like. Some ideas? It would be mostly white in color, taste like a heaping bowl of granola (or a good Thai curry) - and ribbed with latex reproductions of each bridge, for her pleasure (remember - when big sailboats come through, the Hawthorne bridge goes up and down).

Possible names? "The Freightliner" is one that comes to mind.


(Then again, Thomas Cobb, our senior designer, thought our city's official surge protector might look a lot like this. Don't ask us what he was thinking).

But let's get some ideas in motion. Post away on what you'd like to see in a Rose City Rubber. Or the Burnside Dental Dam. Let's send City Council the message that Portland is no prude.

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