November 13th, 2006 5:33 pm | by Shoshanna Cohen News | Posted In: CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP

Taste Test: AloeCure

AloeCureFrom the “It's good for you!” department, a Seattle company called AloeCure has produced a beverage of the same name intended to improve digestion and soothe troubled guts. OK, but is it edible? My research assistants Adrian Chen (former WW intern), health-conscious friend Lizzy and I found out, so you don't have to.

The cloudy, whitish, slightly gloopy liquid resembles something that might come out of, not go into, the human body. “The consistency is like some kind of special effect goo, like ectoplasm from Ghostbusters II,” Chen observed.

Aloe Cure comes in three flavors, natural, grape and ginseng green tea. Sadly, we only had the opportunity to try the former two. The natural flavor tastes exactly what you'd imagine aloe vera sunburn gel to taste like, and has the same lubricating effect—which is much more pleasant on parched skin than in your throat, where it is frankly disturbing. The grape flavor tastes like aloe vera sunburn gel mixed with children's cough medicine. As for its salubrious, stomach-calming qualities, Lizzy said, “I used to drink aloe juice in the morning with a little water as a blood cleanser, back when I was a total Ayurvedic purist. I don't remember if it did anything.”

“If I try any more I think I'm going to throw up,” Chen warned. I didn't think it was that bad, but I probably wouldn't drink it without getting paid.

Frankly, we'd prefer the feeling of wellbeing imparted by a nice, stiff screwdriver. SHOSHANNA COHEN.

AloeCure is available at local QFC stores, $7.99 for 500 ml. For a slideshow of Adrian and Lizzy tast testing AloeCure, please click here.

Check in every Monday for more taste tests of locally produced food and beverages, signature restaurant dishes and downright disgusting edible innovations from Dish freelancer Shoshanna Cohen.

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