Who knew Multnomah County commission candidate Tom Markgraf
once unpacked John Kerry's underwear? Or that his fellow commissioner wannabe, Paul van Orden
, once opened for Fugazi?
You do, if you attended Candidates Gone Wild
last night at the Aladdin Theater. It was the ninth incarnation of the unique political infotainment extravaganza put on by WW, Live Wire
and the Bus Project
Once again, hostess Storm Large
was at the center of the action, cajoling the candidates for Metro president and for the open county seat that represents North and Northeast Portland.
But Large saved her most scathing invective for Republican gubernatorial candidate Chris Dudley
, whose campaign team failed to return Large's calls. Other hopefuls for the governor's mansion subjected themselves to starring in short films screened for the crowd, but the former NBA jock refused to play ball.
Large called Dudley a "little, whiny, bitchy dick
" and challenged the 6-foot-11 candidate to a public leg-wrestling match.
It wasn't just local candidates who got the treatment. Live Wire mocked everyone from Sarah Palin
to national GOP chair Michael Steele
to the Portland Police Bureau
in some brutally satirical sketches.
Best political insight of the night went to David Bragdon
, the outgoing Metro president, who noted that one of his wanna-be successors, candidate Tom Hughes,
was endorsed by The Oregonian
to take Bragdon's place.
"That's worth about 10 points down," Bragdon observed as he quizzed the Metro candidates in a round of Jeopardy
. "If the PBA (Portland Business Alliance) endorses you, kiss your ass goodbye."
For more highlights, check out tomorrow's WW
(Photos by Roger Bong)