I imagine if Woven Bones were guest starring on a cartoon, its animated band would float through space in a garage-shaped boat, blasting bursts of colored lights in time with the melodic noise and somehow powered by the legs of the dancing audience on the ship's deck.
In other words, the only thing that would make this Austin trio more fun to go and see would be if one of them was wearing a banana costume.
I had a chance to talk with Fort Lauderdale native/Woven Bones frontman Andy Burr the other day about nothing and everything. This is what it sounded like:
Who's your favorite Ninja Turtle?
Probably Michelangelo. He was the guy that was into pizza pretty much the most.
What's your favorite kind of pizza?
Any kind that doesn't have olives on it.
Campfire or grill?
If you had to choose one...
As far as a cooking apparatus?
Or just an evening festivity...
Probably campfire. A grill would be at your house, which is inherently more regular. With a campfire you're getting away and just chilling.
What's you favorite pair of shoes?
They're these old English shoes. Clarks. They're real classic. The pair I'm wearing I've had for, like, three years.
What do you think is the worst kind of facial hair someone can try to pull off?
Any? You're anti facial hair all together?
I think so.
I like to shave.
Okay! Would you rather have a velvet painting or a needlepoint tapestry?
What would it be of?
Well, there was this one I saw at a thrift store one time. It was just some dude's Rottweiler and it was huge—like 2 [feet] by 3.5 [feet] or something like that. Pretty big. It was too expensive for me, too—like, 45 bucks—but I wanted it so bad. It looked like it was from P. Diddy or Snoop Dogg's house.
Who is your favorite visual artist?
Ray Johnson. He made a bunch of collages and drawings and xerox art and stuff like that in the '60s. Elvis with the doodles on it and the red eyes. Lucky Strike stuff.
Describe the first place you remember living in.
It was this concrete block on Jacqueline Drive. A real Floridian house. It was the place that my parents lived in when I was born. It had three bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room, a dining room, a den, a kitchen and a back deck.
How long did you live there?
Until I was 12, I guess. No, no, no, no; hold on. Fuck, I don't really remember. Maybe until I was 7, or something like that?
What's the quintessential memory you have associated with this place?
Let's see. My godfather lived next door and I used to go swimming over there in a pool in his backyard. He smoked a pipe. I always remember that for some reason. Oh! There was also this big family that lived across the street. They had all daughters.
Sounds very Virgin Suicides.
Ha. Yeah. They were our friends and got CDs and Nintendos way before us. I was over there almost everyday.
Do you remember listening to a particular CD when you were over there?
Oh it was like Tiffany or something like that. Whatever was popular at the time. I'm totally a baby of the '80s.
What about Nintendo games; do you remember playing any specific nintendo game with her?
Super Mario Brothers. Contra. Metroid.
Did you ever beat any of them?
Hell no! I think the only video games that I've actually beat—or the only video games that I actually liked to play—were NBA Jam
, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
and Street Fighter
. Other than that I would just play for the sake of playing. I was never super psyched on beating the game or anything.
If you had to go out tomorrow and get a government job what would be your first choice?
Counter person? Sorter? Delivery man?
The delivery guy, for sure.
That'd be pretty fun.
They pay pretty well, too, actually. A lot better than being in a band does!
What's your favorite beverage?
Either water or Mexican Coke.
What's your favorite brunch food?
Favorite brunch food? Oh, wow. I'm trying to think of the last time I had brunch and I actually ate some brunch food. What is brunch food? Name something.
French Toast, Eggs Benedict, an omelette, pancakes, waffles—
Omelette's totally breakfast. That's not brunch.
Breakfast and brunch are practically the same thing...
Okay, well there was this casserole my mom would make that I really liked—and she made it all the time—cause I liked it. And I don't remember what it was, actually.
Do you remember what's in it?
Yeah, it was like eggs and sausage and cheddar cheese and breadcrumbs and some—I don't know. It's like eggs and sausage shit.
Adventures in Babysitting, Karate Kid or Back to the Future Part 2?
. Hell Yeah.
Any particular reason?
I'm going to sound so uncool here, but it's a pretty morally strong movie. I actually just watched it with a friend the other day. We were high and stoned and we started talking about how awesome it was. It's all about the underdog. I don't know. It's a good movie.
Do you want heavy or light for the last question?
Let's go with a heavier one.
Was there a turning point—a moment in your life looking back on it—where you were like "Wow, everything changed after that happened"?
Yeah. I was doing acid and a bunch of drugs in art school and then everything sort of fell apart. I had to go back, pick everything up and become a regular person again, and succeed at doing that. I mean, I'm normal now, but I could have easily like been a casualty. That's the dark side of Woven Bones.
Burr: Since you did an Irrelevant Interview with me, can I add something special to it?
Can I give a shout out to some friends in Portland?
Julie Pegran, Matt Oliver, and John Magnifico!
I'll make sure to include it.
Please do, I just want them to see it! I'm only going to be there for a day so and they're all Jacksonville kids that moved out to Portland and brought their own little civilization with them. Great people!
DARK SIDE OF THE WOVEN BONES: Catch the band as part of the first day of SMMR BMMR at Plan B on Friday, Aug. 13. Music start at 6 pm (Woven Bones' set time is yet to be determined). Each day of festivities is $13 or you can get the whole three day package for $29. Purchase tickets at the SMMR BMMR website and wristbands will be waiting for you at the door.