August 12th, 2009 5:33 pm | by Local Cut Music | Posted In: Columns

Top 5 Actual Song Titles From Warped Tour Bands

A Day to Remember, “Colder Than My Heart If You Can Imagine”
The band name is almost worse than the song title, but they complement one another.

A Skylit Drive, “Thank God It's Cloudy Because I'm Allergic to the Sunlight”
Oh, wait till you hear the song—it's like a jigsaw puzzle forced together all wrong.

The Devil Wears Prada, “Dogs Can Grow Beards All Over”
Great point, guys, but please learn to scream before you start a screamo band.

Attack Attack, “What Happens If I Can't Check My MySpace When We Get There?”
I like these kids because they're not good-looking at all. But the song sounds like Korn had a dinner date with Zapp and Roger and they all got food poisoning and just shit all over the place and then all got amnesia and forgot how to write songs.

I Set My Friends on Fire
, “Reese's Pieces, I Don't Know Who John Cleese Is?”
I know you're just children, but grow up and stop soundtracking date rape.
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