March 23rd, 2012 7:00 am | by AARON MESH News | Posted In: City Hall, Media, Politics

Mayoral Madness: Dorothy McCullough Lee Regional, Round 2


The Hunger Games opens today, and have you noticed that Mayoral Madness is exactly like it? Competitors are selected without warning, pitted in fights to the death, and only one can survive at the end? There was even a kid, but he lost. Victoria Taft is our Katniss Everdeen, basically. And the more we think about it, the more we believe Victoria would have been a great Katniss! Hollywood's liberal bias ruins another movie.

This is the Dorothy McCullough Lee bracket. Let the games continue!

1. Gus Van Sant, Filmmaking legend
9. Phil Geffner, Pizza mensch

Van Sant has made movies here for decades. Geffner has made Escape From New York Pizza here for decades. Van Sant has almost certainly eaten Geffner's pizza. But he has never put it in one of his movies. Why? Conspiracy.

5. China Forbes, Pink Martini singer
13. “Working” Kirk Reeves, Mouse-eared trumpeter

Forbes sings indoors. Reeves plays cornet outdoors. Choose.

11. Micaela Capelle, University of Portland soccer star
3. John Canzano, Bald-faced columnist

Oh, sure, John Canzano defeated his wife. But now he's faced with another woman... who plays sports. We figure the only way he can win is to find a scandal in her past, and write a long column about how disappointed he is. Maybe he can work Paul Allen in there somewhere. Everybody's mad at Paul Allen. How do we know that Micaela Capelle doesn't work for Paul Allen?

10. Stephen Marc Beaudoin, PHAME Academy director
2. Chuck Palahniuk, Fugitive and refugee

The first rule of PHAME Academy is you do not talk about PHAME Academy. The second rule of PHAME Academy is you do not talk about how somebody is rigging the sacred integrity of this race with the anonymous offer of donations. We are thrilled.

Voting in this bracket closes 8 pm, Monday, March 26.

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