The Bud Clark regional—named after the most gregarious mayor the city ever produced—has been oddly deserted over the first two rounds, perhaps because the frontrunner is a dessert.
Maybe if we had put googly eyes on it, you'd have been more passionate about the bacon maple bar—or as we call her at the office, Miss Piggy Tree-sap. And if only Tres Shannon had not recused himself in order to devote his time to not opening the Portland P Palace!
Anyway, on to the voting. Remember, you can vote for Conrad Jarrett over here, and see the whole bracket here.
1. Bacon maple bar 5. Paul Bunyan statue, He’s tall
It's hard to say who Tres Shannon (the bracket's disqualified #1 seed) would have wanted you to support. Since he's not dead, we suppose we could just ask him, but he's having a difficult week, and he already sent us one alliterative test. So let's see... He'd like Paul Bunyan because it starts with P. He'd like Miss Piggy Tree-sap because he made her. But he really wants you to vote for Patty, over here.
14. Gert Boyle, Columbia Sportswear big boss 15. Reo Varnado, Snoop’s rib-cooking uncle
If they decide to call off this race and co-host a television show where they make Christmas-tree ornaments out of caramel corn every week, we will completely support that decision. We think they have that kind of chemistry. "Gert & Reo's Saturday Night Popcorn Ballz."