March 31st, 2012 7:00 am | by AARON MESH News | Posted In: City Hall, Media, Politics

Mayoral Madness: Josiah Failing Regional Round 3

Ever since Mayoral Madness began—indeed, as it has grown into a city-shattering phenomenon—we've been preparing for charges that we rigged the election. That calumny finally surfaced Thursday, when Victoria Taft claimed we were letting Mike Rice's supporters vote multiple times but blocking her people from voting in giant clumps.

The charge is patently ludicrous: Yes, of course we are using our technological savvy to block only the votes on one side of the race, for the same reason we run a website that shuts down when it gets too many visitors. We have a dark, self-defeating master plan! 

But mostly we're disappointed in Taft's lack of pluck. Seriously, we block you from the easiest possible form of cheating, so you take your ball and go home? What kind of Republican are you, anyway? Find a better way to cheat! It's a proud tradition! Nixon would be ashamed of you.

We hope for better from this bracket of the Sweet 16.

1. Thomas Lauderdale, Bandleader extraordinaire
13. Jody Stahancyk, Fearsome divorce lawyer

Jody Stahancyk, on the other hand: We salute you. If we had been taking bets over people likely to actively participate in this democratic experiment (and we do not deny we were taking bets), we would have put way more money on Thomas Lauderdale, but it's the divorce lawyer who's come to win.

3. Jack Bogdanski, Breaking-news blogger
15. Felicia Heaton, @ShitMyScnrSays

Speaking on Nixonian tactics, how 'bout that Bojack, who did everything short of breaking into Oregon Zoo offices under the cover of night to get dirt on Packy. Heaton is tougher to smear, but he's trying. If we were him, we'd stay far away from the po-po this weekend.

Voting closes 8 pm, Monday April 2.
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