I whittled my investigation of the Mean Jeans gestalt down to a 500-word profile that you can read in this week‚Äôs paper. I feel like I did a pretty good job of highlighting the most salient aspects of this most brilliant band. But the Voice Memo app on my phone caught Mean Jeans moments that should not be kept hidden on my Android for all of eternity (and eternity it shall be, for my phone and its thousands of dick pics will be buried with me in an unmarked grave if I ever die).
Much of my interview was devoted to trying to get Christian and Andrew to ‚Äúunpack‚ÄĚ their band‚Äôs lyrical obsessions with things like macaroni and Jagermeister and partying. They weren‚Äôt too keen on being psychoanalyzed by a prying journalist, but I think their terse answers are revealing in their own ways.
And so, without further ado, I give you Mean Jeans, in their own words, on their own terms. If you‚Äôre not familiar with the wacky world of Mean Jeans, I suggest watching the video for ‚ÄúAnybody Out There?‚ÄĚ before reading any further. It will give you some idea of what we‚Äôre dealing with here.
(Oh and PS: Obtain a copy of Mean Jeans on Mars immediately. It is one of the best pop-punk albums of all time, and I‚Äôm serious as a fart attack, okay?)
Mean Jeans on Macaroni (which stands in for all things beautiful and desirable on the new album):
‚ÄúWe love macaroni.‚ÄĚ - Christian
‚ÄúWe‚Äôre not here to sing songs about pizza or whatever.‚ÄĚ - Christian
‚ÄúAnd there‚Äôs certainly a desire to be sponsored by Kraft.‚ÄĚ - Christian
Mean Jeans on partying and being ‚Äúretarded‚ÄĚ (basically the things Mean Jeans are all about):
‚ÄúOur biggest strength, in terms of playing live, is that we party and we have a good time and everyone else does too. It‚Äôs a good time regardless of how well we play.‚ÄĚ - Andrew
‚Äú‚ÄėSchool Lunch Victim‚Äô was an old song that we slowed down and made retarded.‚ÄĚ - Andrew
‚ÄúWe ARE a party band, but Andrew and I don‚Äôt give a shit about the expectation of writing more songs with the word ‚Äúparty‚ÄĚ in them.‚ÄĚ - Christian
Mean Jeans on the concept of ‚ÄúSlime Time‚ÄĚ (which is also the title of the best song off their first album):
‚Äú‚ÄėSlime Time‚Äô means whatever you want it to mean, whenever you want it to mean it.‚Äô - Christian
Mean Jeans on Keanu Reeves (who seems to represent the pinnacle of coolness for these guys):
‚ÄúHe‚Äôs badass.‚ÄĚ -Christian
‚ÄúA big goal of ours is to play with Dogstar at some point.‚ÄĚ - Christian
‚ÄúKeanu is such a clueless, bad actor, just doing what he‚Äôs supposed to do.‚ÄĚ - Christian
Mean Jeans on Jagermeister (which is essentially holy water Mean Jeans, and which Christian was kind enough to introduce me to near the end of our interview):
‚ÄúJagermeister is what we drink when we drink, and that‚Äôs every day.‚ÄĚ - Andrew
‚ÄúYou wanna do a Jagerbomb? Yeah, let‚Äôs do a Jagerbomb.‚ÄĚ - Christian
‚ÄúI‚Äôve never seen Andrew sit out on a Jagerbomb.‚ÄĚ - Christian
‚ÄúYou know what. These aren‚Äôt dropper cups.‚ÄĚ -Christian
‚ÄúThat was a Jagerbomb fail, to be honest. They‚Äôre supposed to be smaller glasses.‚ÄĚ -Christian
On the word ‚Äúshitty‚ÄĚ (which is third only to ‚Äúand‚ÄĚ and ‚Äúthe‚ÄĚ in the Mean Jeans lexicon):
‚ÄúIt‚Äôs the perfect descriptor for most of my life situations. Come up with another word.‚ÄĚ - Christian
‚ÄúIt‚Äôs a really dumb word, but it‚Äôs one of my favorites.‚ÄĚ - Christian
‚ÄúHow would you describe me having to go drive a cab until 6 in the morning? Fucking shitty as hell. Or me watching you guys do Jagerbombs? That‚Äôs shitty.‚ÄĚ - Andrew
SEE IT: Mean Jeans celebrates the release of Mean Jeans on Mars at the Eagles Lodge on Friday, April 20, with Therapists, Bi-Marks and the Bugs. 8pm. $5. 21+.