Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)

1. Pumking Pumpkin Beer
It breaks our heart to say it, but New York's Southern Tier makes a pumpkin beer that's way better than anything else available here. Disappeared from most shelves, but still available at some Food Fronts for $7.99.

2. Pre-election week

Obviously, we're all hoping America doesn't elect its dickhead boss president on Nov. 6, but we're getting gay married and using all the renewable energy we can this week just in case.

3. Kingdom Crumbs
Has Seattle hip-hop always been awesomely psychedelic and weird? Kingdom Crumbs, the latest bunch of oddballs to emerge from the Emerald City, are like what fellow Seattleites Shabazz Palaces would sound like if they made party rap and had a fun-as-hell stage show. The group performed Sunday at Holocene, opening for fellow rap futurist Cadence Weapon, and absolutely brought the house down—which is even more impressive given that the house only contained about 20 people. 


4. Sandy Blvd.
Because as much as it blows (schwing!), it's better than the soggy mess descending on the East Coast. 

Speaking of hurricanes, this is a pretty fascinating account of a heroin addict during Katrina

6. Apple fritters at Delicious Donuts

We all have our fried dough problems. Agent Cooper loves a mouthful of classics. Pvt. Pyle is willing to dishonor himself and the platoon for a jelly-filled. Garth has a homicidal propensity for Mr. Doughnut Head Man. You, though, have more refined tastes. You dream of doughnuts that transcend the circular mold, of beautiful irregularities dripping with glaze. You dream of fritters, and Delicious Donuts has got ‘em—so long as you’re there early. The sell-till-they’re-all-gone shop on Burnside and Grand is operated by the sweetest couple you’ll ever meet. You can taste their honest smiles in the 99-cent apple fritters, which are sugar-crusted but soft and yielding on the inside. They’re almost always warm, and one’s enough to power you through your morning.

7. Vancouver
No, not the destination of last week's It List—this time we mean that little hamlet across the Columbia. We ventured north this weekend, and it was grand. We tip our collective hat to Coors Light, the Discover Card, test-tube Jager shots, hairdressers-turned-DJs and bars with carpeted floors. 

8. Rake
You can't actually watch this excellent Australian comedy series starring Richard Roxburgh in this country (unless you can find some sort of way to access television shows through the Internet, but we are not aware of such ways), but at least you will get a watered-down U.S. remake with Greg Kinnear at some point, from which Fox execs will likely scrub of all the prostitution, recreational drug use, excessive swearing, bestiality, cannibalism, sex with minors and anything actually funny, resulting in a show that is similar in name and vague character outlines only. So just take our word for it that the original is really great. 

9. Mormon tax shelters
A lot of churches provide shelter for the needy, but only Mormons also provide important tax shelters to help our wealthiest citizens avoid paying their fair share of taxes. How inclusive of them! And to think some people want to revoke the politically active Mormons' tax exemption altogether... 

Who knew? Also, we call dibs on the Scottie dog.