December 13th, 2012 | MATTHEW KORFHAGE Food & Drink |

Craigslist Human-Poop Coffee Guy Speaks

And he sounds oddly sincere about pre-pooping your coffee for you.

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Portland blanketed the Internet memescape yet again for its gourmet-absurdist foodie-ism, this time in the form of a Craigslist post (now offline, but screenshotted here) from a person claiming that they would be making their own kopi luwak coffeeotherwise known as cat-poop coffeeby eating and defecating the coffee personally.

Kopi luwak, in case you didn't know, is considered the most expensive coffee in the world. It is made by washing and roasting the undigested portions of coffee beans found in the feces of southeast Asian civets, which are small cat-like mammals.

The Craigslist poster offered to eat his homegrown coffee beans himself, poop them out, then roast the result as coffee, at $30/pound. He added, "I’m 47, healthy, and will guarantee you’ll like my kopi luwak style coffees. Fecal specimens available for inspection upon request."

The fecal specimens pictured in the craigslist ad had been lifted from elsewhere, and were not his own.

Well, WW responded to the ad to ask about his process for making the rarefied coffee. 

A man with a Yahoo account under the name Randy Goldman rapidly responded. And despite all obvious signs he can't possibly be serious, in a town where Rogue Ales makes beer with yeast from its brewers' own beard, we're still not sure whether it's a prank. 

Judge for yourself. Randy's response is below:

I eat the cherries and then digest them. The seeds are left in tact when they pass. I carefully sort through it, wash them thoroughly, dry them in my Excelsior dehydrator (on the lowest setting) until they reach 14% moisture. Then I use my trusty HotTop roaster. At 400 degrees, any sort of bacteria is killed off. I let it rest for a few hours and then pack them in valve bags.

My yellow bourbon plants are well taken care of (plenty of fertilizer) and they produce a coffee that's smooth, mild, and the process gives it a nice mouthfeel and low acidity.

Unfortunately I only had a few pounds to process and they were snapped up quick by people on Craigslist. I'm securing some fresh cherry from my buddies in Costa Rica so I hope to be processing again in the next week or so. Do you want me to put you on the waiting list?

Thanks for your interest,

Randy
 
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