Bim Ditson went to more shows at SXSW than you. Don't feel bad—he went to more shows than anyone else at SXSW. About 90 or so. He took photos and, naturally, wrote haikus about each of them. What follows is the definitive final word on South By Southwest 2013. 

[Ed. note—Apologies for the lateness on posting this a week after the festival ended. Bim turned this in on time, because he's a champ. Myself, I'm a mere mortal, and even though I got back from Austin last Sunday, I've only now returned to reality. Thanks, Bim!]

(Click full-screen on the slideshow, then select Show Info for the corresponding haiku.) 

Mar 15th - 8:14 PM @The Hovercraft House

2 Ton Bug

Be so loud and crass--

to make the dirt everywhere

like the beers and ears

Mar 12th - 7:15 PM @Sidewalk of E 6th St.


Walking towards earshot

well done sex stranger surprise

a bit like Metric.

Mar 14th - 2:08 PM Cheer Up Charlie's

Andrew W.K.

Party hard party--

hard party hard party hard let's

party hard party

Mar 13th - 8:30 PM @The Grackle

Animal Eyes

A fan spins relief.

Beer was free and now is not

sweet consolation.

Mar 14th - 11:45 AM @Cheer Up Charlie's

Ash Reiter

Gulp sonically--

doubtlessly enjoy this band.

Nothing annoying.

Mar 15th - 12:12 PM @The Grackle

Bombay Show Pigs

From the Netherlands

who though would have thunk so good

Bombay Show Pigs.

Mar 16th - 3:27 PM @Hotel Vegas

A.Rex & J.Rex

Come to be fast more…

The sounds had been before now

I do like your shirt.

Mar 16th - 2:01 PM @Hotel Vegas

American Sharks

When riding a jet

you must cling tightly and burn

seems pretty stressful. 

Mar 15th - 5:46 PM @The Hovercraft House


The kegs worked magic--

sunset simple song glory.

Let's never shower.

Mar 12th - 9:25 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's


There's a thing with cooks--

it makes more sense in kitchen's.

You know what I mean.

Mar 13th - 7:17 PM @The Grackle


Worldly sort of

in a trigger-happy sense

dance more than that.

Mar 14th - 2:48 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

Brass Bed

Slow tone-zone boner

swimming inside air wiggles

mmmmhmmm yes please.

Mar 17th - 1:35 PM @Side Bar


A real man with mic--

he knows how to wield his throat

we're all now his.

Mar 16th - 3:44 PM @Hotel Vegas

Cold Warps

Memory is ice--

it melts faster in the heat

warm water brain now.

Mar 15th - 7:03 PM @The Hovercraft House

Colleen Green

The cops were joking

dump some more backyard songs out

neighbors, who needs 'em.

Mar 14th - 12:01 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

Dana Falconberry

Harmony in heat.

Gentile depth and a long long walk

it's nice to arrive.

Mar 17 - 2:01 PM @Side Bar

December Boys

Juxtaposed their name

music'd pretty goodly

songs about chicks though.

Mar 15th - 3:52 PM @The Hovercraft House


A real country band--

is not rocket science man

you can teach science.

Mar 13th - 9:19 PM @ TMobile House 


Hello again songs

a keyboard mountain gushes

finally sitting.

Mar 13th - 12:47 PM @ Cheer Up Charlie's


The free beer took things--

spotted my drowning think box

they look nice enough.

Mar 17th - 4:31 PM @Wuwu Sushi

Edison Chair

Peering in from here

she frowns at my raised iPhone


Mar 16th - 1:41 PM @Hotel Vegas

Tiger High

I think it is them

free margaritas at noon

I think it is them.

Mar 16th - 1:29 PM @Hotel Vegas


I think it is them

free margaritas at noon

I think it is them.

Mar 17th - 7:59 PM @Red Eyed Fly

Animal Eyes

to make a true noise--

first build a safe bud circle

the rest comes for free.

Mar 13th - 10:42 AM @Trailer Space Records


Have much not your name

be bummed in the stage corner

and I will go smoke.

Mar 17th - 6:29 PM @Beer Land

Flesh Lights

What is in a name

promised un-seriousness 

delivered some punk.

Mar 16th - 5:59 PM @Hotel Vegas

Fletcher C. Johnson


pop-tunes messin' up my mind.

Brooklyn lost my head.

Mar 17th 12:55 PM @Beer Land

Gap Dream

California haze

be nice before you chase them--

guitar the bathroom.

Mar 15th - 1:05 PM @Cheers Shot Bar


rooftop sun-battle.

Fight it back with killer pipes

bass broke still ripped.

Mar 16th - 2:57 PM @Hotel Vegas

Grape Street

You must be most good

to pass off being so dick.

Overall OK.

Mar 16th - 10:02 PM @Hotel Vegas

Guantanamo Baywatch

A sound from your home--

is like a memory smell

nose hug in my ears.

Mar 16 - 7:29 PM @Hotel Vegas

Hector's Pets

I don't remember

I'm so so so so sorry

'cause they sound hell yes.

Mar 15th - 11:31 AM @East Side Tones

Hounds Bellow

This warehouse is trap

deep back bad banter but free beer.

Neat Pixies cover.

Mar 17th - 5:30 PM @Beer Land


Writhe and belt it out

you pink-headed little girl

I'll take Sunday salt.

Mar 12th - 6:38 PM @The Sidewalk on East 6th


Like Justice without--

seeming daddy-money-white.

Excellent pauper.

Mar 16th - 10:24 AM @Maison d'Etoile

Jess Williamson

Banjo pants road girl

songs off grids can wind freely

folk means kind right here.

Mar 17th - 2:07 PM @Side Bar

Johnny Walker and the Stares

Showing vanity--

is done best on stage with sax.

Or I was tired.

Mar 17th - 5:56 PM @Beer Land

Jungle Bodies

Skater-Tot bassist.

The right Danzig influence

not talking Mother.

Mar 13th - 11:15 AM @ Trailer Space Records

Juniper Rising

Twang frontier island.

Browsing Trailer Space records--

sound multitasking.

Mar 16th - 9:52 PM @Hotel Vegas

King Tuff


delicious don't remember

trust it was balls-yes.

Mar 17th - 3:29 PM @Wuwu Sushi

Les Rev

Pictures talk a lot.

Instrument pile's not real songs

cute girl works too well.

Mar 14th - 12:38 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

Lisa Marr's Cub Sing-A-Long

Something that is new--

not always explicable.

Sometimes throws candy.

Mar 15th - 4:20 PM @The Hovercraft House

Love Cop

Put weed in your heart--

place the sun awhile ago.

Make from where you are.

Mar 16th - 5:45 PM @Hotel Vegas

Missing Monuments

Existing in noise--

I must focus on pee-lines.

Heard and forgotten. 

Mar 14th - 2:14 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's 

Nardwuar & the Evaporators W/ A.W.K.

Convert a human--

with your bright short marvelous.

next band seems pointless.

Mar 13th - 2:32 PM @Portland Party Green-Room/Pool

Nick Jaina

When far from safety

with no possible resting

lean on Nick Jaina.

Mar 15th - 12:06 PM @The Grackle

Night Panther

It is safe to dance.

The swelter blistered my dogs.

Wrong about safety. 

Mar 15th - 4:10 PM @Hotel Vegas

Roky Erickson

Legend needs no tricks.

Peaks back proud of mortal band

even played guitar.

Mar 15th - 11:14 PM @Liberty

No Damn Clue

Pretty men scare me--

feel like they will steal my shit.

Heat paranoia.

Mar 17 - 6:02 @Beer Land


Beer Land yum beer band.

Remember songs are just that--

short things for your ears.

Mar 14 - 7:08 PM @B.D. Riley's 


Deep in downtown fake

youth-grit sonic wizards rip

who needs guitar strap?

Mar 17th - 7:12 PM @Beer Land

Outer Minds

Dusty wasteland--

don't be only punk or art.

Boy this PA sucks.

Mar 6th - 7:31 PM @Hotel Vegas


I don't remember this at all.

Blame Lone Star--

the beer, not the Texas name for food stamps.

Mar 14 - 2:23 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

Pony Time

Just a bass and drums

played with a certain vigor

damn-yes this is loud.

Mar 13th - 1:12 PM @The Grackle

Rare Monk

How did they do that--

cramming all those in that song.

Portland far from home.

Mar 14 - 1:15 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

Renny Wilson

Most hilarious.

"This is serious music"

the frontman is back.

Mar 15 - 6:35 PM @The Hovercraft House

Guantanamo Baywatch

Stamina for days--

representing Portland hard.

Each set perfect.

Mar 16th - 2:42 PM @Hotel Vegas

Sam Flax

You know Shy Girls?

Same vain but has more of them

good warm blood dance smooth.

Mar 15th - 8:51 PM @Liberty

Sex Party

A Winnebago--

the trashy meth-lab-dad kind.

Worst set of South By.

Mar 12th - 10:15 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

Shivering Timbers

Hauntingly simple

staggeringly sound-verbose

draw me in danger.

Mar 15th - 3:27 PM @The Hovercraft House

Snow Wite

What is he wearing--

doesn't matter anymore.

Solid songs for days.

Mar 16th - 4:28 PM @Hotel Vegas

Summer Twins

I think they're really twins

I am getting worse at these

blurry festival.

Mar 17th - 9:15 PM @Red Eyed Fly


I remember shots--

bathroom with a metal troff.

Smelling like that troff.

Mar 13th - 8:09 PM @The Grackle

Tango Alpha Tango

I traveled way far

and saw so much from Portland

it is much like love.

Mar 14th - 4:18 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

The Blank Tapes


a musical sort that rips.

All California.

Mar16th - 11:33 AM @Maison d'Etoile

Renny Wilson

Could not hear just once--

proving the spontaneity

I will have withdrawals.

Mar 12th - 8:47 PM @Downtown somewhere

The Glorious Party Rockers

A 7 of 10--

score for the cover that they

did of Bust A Move.

Mar 16th - 9:06 PM @Hotel Vegas

The Go

Are you seriously still reading these? 

Mar 16th - 12:21 AM @The Gypsy

The Mallard

Instead of Berkley--

she spent that money on beer.

Wild St. Vincent.

Mar 16th - 5:08 PM @Hotel Vegas

The Memories

Gnar Tapes super-band

funny genius wears Tai-Die.

our sides hurt after.

Mar 15th 1:52 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

The Orwells

Sunny haired man sings

this burrito's full of bones

where is my shade at?

Mar 16th - 12:20 PM @Maison d'Etoile

The Pharmacy

Exhausted troopers

drummer made do with pallets

jank professional.

Mar 13th - 7:32 PM @The Grackle

The Shivas

Sometimes to make tunes--

the best way is to listen.

Do things in order.

Mar 15th - 5:19 Pm @The Hovercraft House

The Shivas

It was just a yard

some kegs and brains and bodies

rad transformation.

Mar 16th - 2:17 PM @Hotel Vegas

The Wolf

It's not BJM

these locals like playing shows.

Austin packs a punch.

Mar 15th - 10:50 PM @The Gypsy

Thee Oh Sees


bobbing chicken neck bassist

never was so cool.

Mar 13th - 3:33 PM @Mellow Johnny's Bike Shop


Walk far on blisters--

to a possible mirage.

Glorious success. 

Mar 15th - 2:32 PM @The Hovercraft House

Unkle Funkle

To stay with Gnar dudes

seeing how humans should be

take that shirt off man.

Mar 14th - 4:01 PM @Back of TMobile House I Think?

No Clue What Their Name Is

Stumble at the soul

heat stroke is worth this man's voice

smells like poop here though.

Mar 14th - 5:07 PM @Cheer Up Charlie's

Vinyl Williams

Open bars are a trick--

zombie day-blackout-loser.

think they are Shoegaze. 

Mar 13th - 10:16 AM @Trailer Space Records


I got distracted

record mountains and free beer

heaven in theory.

Mar 17th - 5:13 PM @Beer Land

Vockah Redu

That guy pops his butt

the crowd never gets enough.

This is Bounce Music.

Mar 16th - 7:02 PM @Hotel Vegas

White Fang

Capacity show

"Double fast double triply"

quadruple awesome.