Eagle Landing, 10220 Southeast Causey Avenue in Happy Valley. 9 am-dusk daily.
: $8 for 18 holes, $11 for 36 holes.
: Yes, bottled beer and wine, $4-5.
Other club amenities
: This Clackistani golf center also has miniature golf, full-sized golf and medium-sized (par three) golf.
: We got lost on the “Green” course and played half the “Gold” course by mistake, so our results are deeply flawed. We played poorly on what is a deceptively challenging course and had to fish a few balls out of the drink, though.
: If a typical putt-putt course has the vibe of a chili dog stands, Eagle Landing is more of a Cheesecake Factory. Located out in the hills of Clackistan, it features well-planted beds, a fire pit with Adirondack chairs and tasteful copper-styled plaques numbering each hole. The complex is surrounded by McMansions. Down the hill, sits a megachurch where a bro in a backward baseball cap drove his open-topped Jeep Wrangler with an “I [HEART] [PICTURE OF ASSAULT RIFLE]” sticker on it. This area is called “Eagle Landing,” so don’t miss Clackistan’s Statue of Liberty, a giant statue of an angry bald eagle landing in a roundabout on Stevens Road, southwest of the golf center.
: As we pull up, two teens in polo shirts drive up, one in an SUV, the other in a midsize family sedan. In the little hut where you pay the greens fee and buy drinks and snacks, a Dad complains that he wants to finish the course quickly so he can go play a round on the big course while mom and the kids shop at the nearby mall.
: Watch out for slippery green on hole 11, where we had to fish three balls from the water feature. Try to lay up in the bit of rough by the hole if you can, or just take your time putting over instead of hitting it hard enough to get to the hole and instead bouncing into the water on the first swing.
: Make sure you look at the plaque on each hole, especially if you’re skipping ahead of a slower foursome. Also beware of tricky slopes you won’t notice from standing height, but will see if you kneel down to get the lay of the hole. Just pretend you’re tying your shoe, since no one likes a serious putt-putter.