It is nigh on 6:30 on St. Patrick's own day. Are you not yet intoxicated in the great man's honor? Do you aspire to be?
Well, might we suggest the Plastic Paddy from Portland's Cider Riot. New to shelves this very day (look at Bushwackers, 39th Avenue Mini Mart and Belmont Station) this 2-liter bottle—that's four American pints—of alcoholic apple cider just hit shelves today.
Plastic Paddy is not nearly as delicious as other offerings from Cider Riot. It is also not nuanced. It is a $13 flagon of Irish-style that includes an infusion of tea to add tannins that balance out the sweetness of American dessert apples. This works: Plastic Paddy is not notably sweet or bitter or anything else, really. It tastes of mischief; of spinnyness; of chanting. Also, vaguely, of the the clear wax coating on apples used for decoration. In other words, it is very good at the purpose for which it is intended. As the bottle says, that's to be "consumed in the parks on the banks of the River Lee." Or, we suppose, the Willamette.
Plastic Paddy is an homage of sorts to the flagon, cheap, large bottles of smooth-drinking ciders that serve a purpose much like our own 40 ounce bottles of malt liquor. Heretofore unknown on these shores, to my mind, at least, this inexpensive, consumer-friendly large-format cider is a welcome addition to our annual festivities.