May 14th, 2009 5:33 pm | by JAMES PITKIN News | Posted In: CLEAN UP, Cops and Courts, CLEAN UP

JUICY SUITS: Crushed by the Silver Surfer


Here's a geeky twist on the classic "whiplash" lawsuit — a woman claims she was struck not by a car, but by the most powerful superhero in the Marvel universe.

(We can argue later about why the Silver Surfer would beat the Hulk in a fight. Just keep reading.)

In a lawsuit filed May 6 in Multnomah County Circuit Court, Pamela Limones of Tualatin claims she visited Regal Cinemas Theater on Southwest Bridgeport Road in Portland on July 7, 2007.

The cinema at the time was auctioning off a life-sized Silver Surfer statue, the lawsuit says. We can presume the auction was keyed to the pending release of the mediocre Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

According to the lawsuit, the statue fell on Limones' head. The suit lists 21 discomforts and injuries from the collision, including neck strain, headaches, sleep disturbance, dizziness, disc bulges, herniated discs and scars from neck surgery.

The suit, filed by Salem lawyer Brian Lathen, seeks $550,000 for medical bills and lost wages plus $3 million for pain and suffering. Regal Cinemas headquarters in Knoxville, Tenn., has not yet returned a call for comment.

Personally, if I had a Marvel character fall on my head, I'd choose Dr. Doom.
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