Why You Called An Ambulance

Courtesy of the Portland Fire Bureau's voluminous Standard of Emergency Response Coverage report, we have a breakdown of all the emergency medical dispatches handled by the city and its contract ambulance service, American Medical Response, last year.
As you can see, Portlanders have a lot of problems.

Compared with last year, calls about breathing trouble, chest pains and "sick"-ness increased the most, overall. Drowning, bleeding, falling and HazMat calls were down slightly. Headaches held steady.
Drug overdose calls were up (by 137), as were "behavior" problems (by four) and animal bites (by eight).
(Cat rescue photo, above, by the Grand Traverse Rural Fire Department, Traverse City, Michigan. Here's another one, by the AP.)