"Quality is crucial. Let's agree on that right now. That thin stuff they let simmer for hours at the convenience store? Undrinkable. On that front, my friend, we couldn't be more simpatico. See, we have so much in common. And yet—and I'm just being honest here—I feel like taking that espresso handle that you keep banging against the counter and knocking our your front teeth. But that's probably just because I haven't had my coffee yet. And that is, after all, why I came in here."
We can't say for sure, though we have a call in at Esquire. We'll let you know if they call back.
Photo by flickr user Biskui, who has a damn good eye for color.