November 7th, 2007 5:33 pm | by AARON MESH News | Posted In: CLEAN UP, Sports, CLEAN UP

In Which a Guy Who Once Punched Me Decides to Pursue Easier Prey

clearyWhen I was a freshman at Covenant College in Georgia, I was a member of an intermural indoor soccer team. (I realize this sounds like a boring story, but trust me, there's a national news angle here.) One evening, our team did something rare in its history: We won a game. I was so excited that I threw off my glasses and ran onto the court for a group hug. Unfortunately, the lack of visual aid led me to run toward a player on the opposing team, who decided that the rather lumpish 18-year-old running toward him was an imminent threat. So he body-slammed me to the ground and punched me in the face. Several of my teammates pulled him off me, a minor brawl ensued, and when my attacker got back from a brief hospital visit, he was suspended from school for several weeks.

That was about the last I saw of Timothy Cleary.

But apparently his punching days are far from over. Timothy Cleary was arrested last Sunday after allegedly walking up to an open casket at an Orlando funeral and physically attacking the corpse. Motives are, as you might imagine, unclear.

I am, naturally, very sorry to hear this. But I am relieved to no longer be identified as the most helpless person Tim Cleary has allegedly punched.
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