July 1, 2015 marked the legalization of recreational marijuana in Oregon. Now, everyone can legally grow up to four marijuana plants. This is the third year WW has grown pot on the roofs of the office. The four strains growing at Willamette Week World HQ this year are a Texada Timewarp, Girl Scout Cookie, Dream Lotus and Headband.
Last week, we began our third annual cannabis grow here at WW. It's a tradition with a short but successful history. Past season's harvests were fruitful and most of the plants flowered.
Cut to this year, which I've tentatively named the Pot Massacre of 2017.
Because I'm a dumbass.
I mentioned in my last post that I was in the dark when it came to growing weed—or gardening in general—and it bit us all in the collective ass when I didn't dilute the fertilizer we've been using on the plants. That, coupled with a heat wave, killed what had the potential to be a decent crop.
Internet, you're reading the words of a murderer. I was unwitting, but the label still applies. Our four plants—Dream Lotus, Girl Scout Cookie, Headband and Texada Time Warp—are no longer with us. We're working out the funeral details.
Before you grab your virtual pitchforks and run me out on a log, we hope to keep growing weed this year. Given my recent failure, that probably seems insane. But traditions must live on. At least, that's what I'm told.
We're looking for four starters in the early stages of growth to keep this year's Grow from falling by the wayside. If you're willing to put some plants in a potentially dangerous situation—with full assurance that we will do our absolute best—then feel free to hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I anticipate frustration and anger. Deserved.
Thus spake the intern.