This weekend, Hello Kitty's Supercute Friendship Festival comes to Veterans Memorial Coliseum. What does one do at the live stage adaptation of a Japanese school supply brand featuring an anthropomorphic cat girl?
On Facebook Chat—this is how I imagine Hello Kitty communicates with her friends Chococat and Tuxedosam—I asked my friend Andrea Kneeland about Sanrio Co. Ltd.'s tour, which she attended last week. Kneeland is the Oakland author of How to Pose for Hustler and mother of two daughters, ages 1 and 3. They loved it.
Lizzy, 1:50 pm
OK! So, what is the Hello Kitty Supercute Friendship Festival?
Andrea, 1:54 pm The Hello Kitty Supercute Friendship Festival is 80 percent waiting in line, 10 percent photo op and 10 percent frenetic musical performances by overheated dancers in Sanrio costumes who must be wondering about their life choices.
Lizzy, 1:56 pm Do you have an idea what species Hello Kitty is after seeing her dance?
Andrea, 1:58 pm I know there was a controversy recently where Sanrio said Hello Kitty isnât really a cat, and I thought it was BS at the time, but now that Iâve seen her live, I can say that they were telling the truth. She is definitely not a cat. Sheâs definitely a person in a cat costume.
Lizzy, 1:59 pm Who was the most disturbing person you saw there?
Andrea, 2:00 pm Most of the attendees were surprisingly normal. Even the cosplayers kept it all kind of toned down, which was really surprising. There was one parent I noticed who just kept letting her kid cut in line and photobomb people. That was pretty unsettling.
Lizzy, 2:02 pm So was it all parents and kids or were there any adults by themselves?
Andrea, 2:03 pm There were a lot of adults! Iâd say it was probably 50/50. Many, many women in their mid-20s wearing Hello Kitty gear. I would say the people attending without kids looked like they were having a way better time than the people attending with kids. But thatâs the case pretty much anywhere you go.
Lizzy, 2:06 pm What would you suggest drinking before you go, either as an adult on your own or as a parent with kids?
Andrea, 2:07 pm Definitely tailgate in the parking lot. Adults on their own can probably get more creative and drink cute little pink fizzy drinks out of Hello Kitty glassware. If you are a parent, just do a couple of shots of whiskey before you go in. Itâs loud, itâs crowded, and there will be overstimulation and tears.
Lizzy, 2:09 pm Awesome. You are perfect in every way. Anything else we should know?
Andrea, 2:10 pm Yes! I just want to say that the musical performances really were great. Next time Katy Perry needs a shark dancer, she should hire from the Hello Kitty crew. My daughter reported that the Hello Kitty festival was the second-greatest experience of her life (Disneyland being No. 1, obviously). Weâd go again.
Go: Hello Kittyâs Supercute Friendship Festival is July 31-Aug. 2 at Veterans Memorial Coliseum, 300 N Winning Way, sanrio.com/hkfestival. $20-$185.
WWeek 2015
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